Feeling lika a crap manager today - any advice about dealing with difficult situations?

[hackingandhewing]

I have been manager of my current workplace for 18months and spent 18 months prior to that as deputy in the same place.

I think I have adjusted fairly well. I am friendly with most people but am able to keep enough distance so that I can be objective and also deal with problems in a professional way.

However, whenever I have to deal with a difficult situation (no too often and usaully the same 2 or 3 people) I am a complete wreck. I have to psyche myself up, I feel nervous, I can't concentrate on anything else until I've spoken to them. Why oh why do I find it so hard? I have had good feedback from my senior staff about how I deal with things. My bosses (partnership) are happy with the way I manage. (Have recently had a really good appraisal). Things for the most part run smoothly.

Feedback has also shown that people think I am fair and that I deal with things in a resonable way. Not demanding but also not a push over.

I just don't know why I find this so difficult. It is for instance, speaking to people about lateness, people who are behind with their work without good reason. etc.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Does it get easier or am I just not cut out for it?

[Pancakeflipper]

It gets easier ( then sometimes a one-off situation sends you into a spin).

You seem to doing the right things. It's your confidence not letting you believe you are doing well.

You will never make everyone happy. You have to try to keep it fair, professional, follow guidelines, procedures and keep your own integrity. Also use senior managers to bounce ideas about how to deal with things. You usually find at least 1 eager to voice their own opinions on stuff - that way you will get a feeling you are in the right direction before actually putting it into practice.

[theothermrsclooney]

I promise it gets easier the more you do it. Remember you are not having a go at the person in front of you but trying to find resolution to an situation. It seems you are dealing with people fairly and have the respect of your team which is a great start. If it helps try talkin through what you are going to say with your manager and discuss possible outcomes so you feel fully prepared. Your HR dept may also be able to support you if you ask them.

[fridayschild]

I tend to adopt a photocopier/ watercooler approach to lateness - I find the culprit there alone and ask with concern about all the trouble they must be having with the tube/ trains at the moment. I do this even with people who walk to work. Having told me they walk / tube running fine / dog completely healthy / whatever, I say I had noticed they seemed to be a little late in quite frequently and our office hours are a 9.30 start. This usually does the trick.

Speaking to them at their desk is tricky - first we are open plan so everyone else can hear, and secondly it seems a little formal.