Advanced search

Over critical and bearing colleague - help!

(7 Posts)
RoseWei Mon 20-Jun-11 22:32:51

Received an email today from a colleague, sort of middle management. Officious, critical, unjust - actually plain rude. Not the first time. This person contrives through her pettiness and nastiness to make things at times quite intolerable. Above all, her petty criticisms make me angry, upset, confused- all at once.

The latest is around getting students signed up to exams (we both work part time in adult education) - she's claiming that I've made a shed load of admin mistakes with the registration. It's not true at all - I work very hard and if I make occasional mistakes, which no doubt I do, they are not for want of trying. I get stuck in - take a full part in the life of our department.

She has made some very serious blunders herself ie enrolling students who are not eligible for our courses. She isn't popular with admin and other teaching colleagues because she is so over bearing.

But right now, I am very unhappy. I'd like to tell her that or at least that I won't be accused of doing things badly when I have given, in my own time, of my best. Yes, I fall short - of course. But a decent colleague would pick up the phone - not email and copy it to all and sundry - and say "Do you want a helping hand/How's it going?' etc.

Should I let this go - again? Should I stand up to her? Of course, at the back of my mind is my ultimate boss - would making a stand impact on references etc because this middle management person is a proper telling of tales.

At times like this, I just wish that my mum was here to chat to, advise, and tell me, as she so often did, that 'It's her problem'.

Sorry guys - just feeling got at (again) and low. Thanks for listening.

Bohica Mon 20-Jun-11 22:38:23

She sounds positively charming smile

If she isn't popular & is known for being a bitch others will know her emails are full of shit or just see an email from her & think here we go again.

What goes around comes around.

Give her enough rope & she will hang herself.

I can't think of anymore little dittys my mum would say smile

RoseWei Mon 20-Jun-11 22:45:08

Thanks, Bohica. This helps! With you on the karma idea - I may cock up but at least I don't go round criticising, bitching and this horrible thing of copying everyone (including those on sick leave who should be left alone) in on nasty emails - it reminds me of the worst of life in my all girls' school. I couldn't wait to leave and grow up - but here we are again.

Bohica Mon 20-Jun-11 22:50:08

I often find the schoolgate mums & office bitches very similar to the school bullies!

Thing is we are big girls now & if you can, let her get on with it & she will eventually be found out for what she is.

Do you keep a folder to put her nasty emails in? it might come in handy for when she cocks up royaly.

I have only just recently returned to work so I am very much the new girl.

Bearcat Mon 20-Jun-11 22:51:06

Really feel for you. Going through a similar experience at work.
Emails from her make my heart sink, especially coming back from leave when there may be a stack of them, mostly rubbish stuff.
I and my colleagues have taken some action, but still on going with the powers that be.
My friend also said to me tonight the saying 'What goes around comes around', and we live in hope.

MovingAndScared Tue 21-Jun-11 20:29:02

Its not nice - I have had to deal with a similar issue - its border line bullying in my view - but as you say nasty people like that have a way of getting back at you - but normally things don't end well for them - and people will know both of you and know what the deal is.
If your line manager is at all symathetic you could have a word - eg I am finding this a bit upsetting - just so they know
oh and I would keep a diary of any incident just in case it gets worse

GrendelsMum Tue 21-Jun-11 21:04:02

It sounds like this colleague is a bad manager, and an inefficient administrator. Would it be possible to raise this with senior management and ask that she be given more training? I'm not actually thinking that the training would improve matters, but perhaps if you used the right language ('X's manner comes across in written communications as bullying and aggressive') it would flag her up as a potential HR issue.

Or you could mail back, copying everyone in, and say that you appreciate that a number of mistakes were made during the admissions process, that you understood that she had had as many problems with the difficult system and time pressures as everyone else, that of course your team all work hard to sort out the difficulties that your colleagues have, and that you welcome her highlighting all the problems that she had in an attempt to resolve matters next year.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: