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Snarkiness / loaded comments from co-volunteer

(6 Posts)
carocaro Wed 15-Jun-11 17:33:55

I am volunteering at a local heritage park, helping them with PR and marketing. They are all volunteers and the person who did it before got fed up with it and is still there, but is now chucking snarkiness/ loaded comments my way all the time eg: "but you would know better wouldn't you?" "with your experience you must be able to tell" "have you not thought about this if not why" "you used to work in London I thought that gave you some sort of edge"

She is 50 odd and obviously has the hump, I am 39 and just back into work stuff after kids so confidence a little on the low side and I could do without it. She friggin emails me and leaves messages.

I think I just need to ignore her and develop thicker skin, getting back into the work groove and all. Any advice?

cjel Wed 15-Jun-11 19:13:02

I don't really know but have you thought of something along the lines of,'I'm sorry but have I done something to upset you? I dont feel comfortable with these comments, I'm only trying to do my best, its a while since I've been in work and I might be a bit rusty but I am trying.xxx

GrendelsMum Thu 16-Jun-11 13:51:08

I think that Cjel's right - you need to speak to her about this. Something like "I get the impression that you're not happy that I've taken on this role." Look at her, don't say anything, wait for her to speak.

Or you can take a former colleague's route, which is to smile and say "Thanks, X, that's very sweet of you. You're a very nice person to work with."

tiggersreturn Thu 16-Jun-11 22:31:00

or you could take the psychological approach. Maybe the reason she's doing this is because she feels threatened that you're going to do a better job than her and are more qualified? If that's the case then why not neutralise this by asking her advice based on all her years in the job and crediting her/complimenting her on the way various things work. That might neutralise the comments more effectively.

carocaro Sat 18-Jun-11 18:52:28

thanks all, great suggestions, but you can't win, I asked her for her advice and some feedback on previous things she had done and she told me 'it was irrelevant really" and I said I would like to have a chat about her ideas, things she thought would be good etc and she said 'she had washed her hands of it all" So I said that was a real shame as I knew she had done a lot of good work and that I would be intersted to hear about it and I left as she said nothing.

One can but try, but fuck her from now on! Thicker skin (work in progress).

xiaojdd Sun 19-Jun-11 01:33:33

Message deleted

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