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Nitpicking bullying manager!

(6 Posts)
mummybookworm Wed 05-Jan-11 22:56:27

Hi all.

I find my manager intimidating and I would like to change my approach to this.

She is loathed by her team (about 40 people). She nitpicks at the most ridiculous things (generally because she has nothing decent to bollock anyone about).

I am a single parent, I love my job and get on well with my colleagues. She makes me feel like leaving and I don't want to because of her. I just want to quietly get on with my job. 90% of the time she leaves me alone, but when she does call, it is to nitpick about something.

I think she senses a weak spot in me (which is right) and she picks on it. My other colleagues, who have more self assurance are not intimidated by her. How can I be more like them?

I think I come across as a confident colleague, and I suspect she is intimidated by this. We did some interviews together a while ago, and basically I lead them - she did not have a clue. Thanks for any advice. x

puffling Wed 05-Jan-11 23:02:00

I don't know but if you google bully boss you'll get pages of tips.

puffling Wed 05-Jan-11 23:02:29

Also would keep diary of incidents in case needed.

domesticslattern Wed 05-Jan-11 23:02:42

I found this book helpful.

There are loads of others available, if you go and have a poke around a big bookstore.

flowery Wed 05-Jan-11 23:42:17

I will come back to this tomorrow but would just like to say on first reading it I am impressed with your attitude; it is refreshing to hear someone say they would like to change their own approach in a situation like this.

Hope that doesn't sound patronising, will be back with advice on managing your boss tomorrow.

SquashySponge Thu 06-Jan-11 23:33:04

I had a work colleague exactly like this. She was very very good at pinpointing other people's weaknesses, and finding fault with other people's work, and talking a 'good game'. I believe she did this as a strategy to hide the fact that she was incapable at her own job. She caused a lot of unhappiness and bad feeling within our team in the end. After a while, her incompentence was eventually recognised by senior management, and she ended up leaving -(maybe she has joined your company now)!

Things I found to help were to be as confident as possible with my own abilities and be prepared to stand up for them. Where she nitpicked, I asked her to articulate and jusitfy very clearly exactly what she had problems with. Usually when I asked her for specific details she became stuck, or it became apparent she had no clue, and hence no authority to nitpick.

I think in this type of situationit is good to be as prepared as possible, as unfortunately someone like can cause un-necessary stress and unhappiness. It is tricky - hope others can offer some more advice for you.

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