Please help me feel less guilty about going back to work pregnant

[sillysow]

Hi

As the title suggests really, I am feeling awful about going back to work pregnant. It was always our plan to have two close together - and if I am honest I never thought I would feel so awkward.

When I go back I will be 8 weeks but plan to try and keep it qt until 20 weeks as I dont think I will be their favourite person.

[RJandA]

Hi there

A colleague of mine did this and honestly I think there was some bad feeling in the office, but then there will always be some people who would rather you worked late every night and didn't have a life outside the office. Just try not to worry, and make sure you get any flexible working and back to work payrises sorted in writing before you tell them

It's absolutely your right to have your family whenever and however suits you best so no feeling guilty!

Good luck with the pregnancy

[LadyLapsang]

Happened with two people I know. Think people's opinions may vary depending on how long you worked for the company pre-children and whether you return from maternity leave after baby no. 2.

Don't think anyone will say anything to you however they feel because of legislation.

[RibenaBerry]

Are you planning to go back after number two? If so, I think in many ways it's better for the organisation. Particularly if you are senior. Gets all the absences out of the way quickly and, to be honest, if you want to you go into a 'holding pattern' for much of the time you are back.

[sillysow]

Hi all, thank you for your replies.

I had worked for the company for 3 yrs prior to going on leave, and I do intend to return ft after number two ( I will be returning ft after number one also.). I am not senior, but my methodology was to get it out of the way - I hope they understand that.

Once again many thanks.

[NorkilyChallenged]

I went back to work 5 months pg. I was feeling terrible about telling them but they were wonderful about it and took it completely in their stride. It's hard not to feel guilty but it can't really be helped - people will have children and so companies need to deal with that.

I think most workplaces assume people will probably have 2 children, btw, so they're partly expecting it.

[bisbis]

I went back to work Pregnant and i felt terrible. some people gave me funny looks but they soon got used to it.


Hold your head up, act confident and if you arent fake it.


I have a 2.3yr old and a 10month old and just got back to work.

[StillSquiffy]

As someone in charge of staff I will freely admit that eyebrows will be raised when people find out, but that staff quickly enough get over the 'bloody hell, that was quick/is taking the piss' stage - it will be water under the bridge after a week or two. And as far as managment are concerned, well I can't speak for everyone but the teams I've work with wouldn't really give a monkeys about something like this. Once someone has one child we kind of expect them to probably have another one at some point so it is hardly a surprise and the timing doesn't really matter one way or the other.

[Marchpane]

I think I'd be pissed off is you left it until 20wks to tell me. By having your second mat leave so soon it will be hard to settle back in before you go off again but you could be really useful on a short term project or similar. But they won't offer that if they don't know and then neither you nor the business get the benefit if you don't tell them early enough.

I'd be happier if you explained you'd planned a second quickly so you could get back to work without the disruption of another maternity leave later after you'd settled back in and gave me the opportunity to work with you to find work for you to do that benefits you and the business. Not much point spending loads of money sending you on training courses you'll never get the opportunity to use.

What I'm saying is that there are a lot of potential positives to your situation but only if you're up front about your pregnancy.

If your job requires zero training or settling in time (and I can't think of any that do off top of my head) then it doesn't really make as much difference when you tell them.