Hi @MereDintofPandiculation, you are right to be alarmed.
In my experience, 'palliative care', gold standard or not, means that they are looking to kill your relative who probably has about three weeks. They generally do this due to dehydration - which the family will not be tipped off about. Often, to be fair, they don't actually run it past you or even mention the word 'palliative' as that does tend to be a giveaway. They take the view that it's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission, as permission can be denied, and as for forgiveness, well, they're unaccountable anyway.
Of course, someone in the final stages of terminal cancer and in pain, well, in that instance palliative care is okay. Such a person is going to die anyway, and it's weighing up quality of life against duration.
You don't say what your father's condition is, however. If he has some long-term neurological incurable condition like Parkinson's, you better watch out. As that's technically 'incurable' it means he can be on a NICE end-of-life care checklist, even if they can live with it okay.
I don't care what the 'official sources' say on this. They are completely and utterly bent and are supposed to be - that includes the regulators the Care Quality Commission and the Nurse & Midwifery Council. It is a complete racket. Don't believe me? Ask me and I'll tell you - or simply Google 'CQC' and 'NMC' and 'scandal' and fill your boots. Alder Hey, Gosport, Whorlton Hall are the famous ones but it's a daily thing now.
In seven care homes over six years my late mother was at, the only residents on 'palliative care' had only days to live, and it always, always signalled the end. Never, ever did I see or hear of anyone on 'long-term palliative care' of the kind described by other posters on this thread, where it takes place over months. It is quite simply a contradiction in terms.
There are all sorts of ways to alleviate pain without invoking the word 'palliative'. Surrey Social Services and their dodgy care homes did fuck all for my mother on this, we had to do it all.
It is the hostile environment. If you cost the State money and contribute nothing, you are on their hitlist. Pensions, prescriptions, it's free to us but it all mounts up for them.
Put it in writing via email what you expect for your father - and can he communicate his wishes himself? And if you don't have LPA in Health and Welfare, well, sorry it's not your decision frankly, not if he no longer has mental capacity. That said, legally they have to run it past you but of course many don't.
Make it clear he is not to be DNR but then again, specify in what circs. If he has a massive stroke or heart attack it may not be right to put him through a punishing resuscitation just so he can linger on in pain. The State is very perverse about all that.
That said, never be confrontational. An email works better than your verbally requesting stuff and getting annoyed - that works a treat because they can do you for 'abuse' and 'intimidation'. They know all the tricks. If you said it verbally, it never happened. They take the view that whatever is put in writing is true, and if it's not put in writing, it never happened. Guile is your friend, anger is not.