Advanced search

Hand hold please fil just passed

(10 Posts)
MistyReturns Tue 02-Apr-19 06:57:20

He's been an unwell man for years. Mil called my husband this morning as fil was struggling again & always fights against going to hospital. By the time he got to their house he was gone. I'm glad it was quick, poor bloke has suffered enough (I'm not going to say any of this out loud so it stays here. A safe place). If he's gone to hospital I imagine they'd have kept him alive. But he'd be miserable. Our dds will be up soon so I can't not tell them. Currently just don't know what to do? I'm the strong one - always have been. I know I need to look after dh mil but I'm not sure how at the moment.
Sorry just rambling.
God I'm going to miss the old bugger. That's knocked me for 6

OldSpeclkledHen Tue 02-Apr-19 07:05:36


Sorry to read this... I have no words but thinking of you and your family xxx

You say you are the strong one, you are still allowed to grieve too xxxx

Pandasarecute Tue 02-Apr-19 07:05:49

Sorry to hear this, it’s such a shock. Is your DH with you? How old are your children? Can you contact their school to let them know in case they are upset there? I have to go to work now but sending strength, hope you get through the day flowersbrew

MistyReturns Tue 02-Apr-19 07:09:15

Dh quite rightly is with mil at her house. Apparently paramedics were just attending to confirm etc.
Kids are 7,12 & 13. Only one awake so far.

azulmariposa Tue 02-Apr-19 07:24:55

thanks bless you. You are right, dying at home probably was the best thing, especially if that's what he wanted.
I would imagine if he's been poorly for a while, then the kids will have been prepared that this might happen.
You don't have to be strong for anyone. You need to grieve, and I'm always in favour of a good cry.
Don't feel like you have to hide your emotions.

MistyReturns Tue 02-Apr-19 07:30:27

Thanks for the replies. I'm not going to force them to go to school, but I may suggest that it may be easier surrounded by friends rather than sad parents. But I'll leave it to them. And I'll take a flaming!!! I am currently having my tea & meds. I know I need to look after myself in order to look after others. Now debating whether to call work. I'm only due in for 2 hours later on. Will dh want me here? Oh well I can't call for another hour at least.

sandgrown Tue 02-Apr-19 07:37:06

So sorry to hear this. Your DH will be helping his mum but would probably appreciate your support . Would it be better to let the children go to school then you can help DH and tell them together this evening

MistyReturns Tue 02-Apr-19 12:29:46

Well the girls woke up & knew something was wrong. I had to tell them and after tears and cuddles all decided to try and get some distraction at school. 1 daughter is already back home as she wasn't coping. Dh had wanted to be with me to tell them, but understands that I couldn't barefaced lie. Dh has been back home for a couple of hours we've talked, cried, laughed, cuddled. He's now gone back to see his mom.
There's not much for me to do other than be here.

Slugslasher Thu 04-Apr-19 10:47:31

Sorry to hear you have this to bear. I remember my grandpa dying when I was eleven. We were sent to school. I Remember it distinctly. I think normality for them is preferential whilst you get to grips with it all. It’s a huge loss. Later together you can grieve as a family. Hugs xx

MistyReturns Fri 05-Apr-19 17:44:33

Thank you x
2 out of 3 girls (I think) appreciated the normalcy. The other decided to come home. Whatever they wanted to do. We're all getting along in our own way. I'm cooking lots and ensuring everyone is ok. DH is being his mom's hero and crumpling at home where I can look after him. I think everything is natural and going as it "should"

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »