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Carer stealing

(17 Posts)
toffeecattle Sun 03-Mar-19 19:19:26

DP's live in their own home, both with some but not full mental capacity.
They had a private Carer coming twice a day until the October when we realised they needed more so now have 2 carers.
DSis and I both live several hours away, we both have POA.
Carer 2 needed time off for health reasons so we employed a 3rd, a lady with lots of experience to work full time.
Carer 1, original Carer, was paid cash weekly by DF and until recently was getting cash from cashpoint for DPs. A lot of cash, which we questioned DF who said it was all accounted for.
Last week Carer 3 rang Dis very upset because she saw Carer 1 taking notes from DM's purse.
We'd had worries about Carer 1, questioned DF who stated she needed the money. We explained that we didn't need Carer 1 as we now had full time help.
We've let Carer 1 go. We didn't accuse, just said we couldn't afford it.
Should we go to the police? Should we let social services know? The carers are not provided by SS as they're self funding.
I'm so upset. Any advice would be welcome.

drspouse Sun 03-Mar-19 19:21:07

Are the carers from an agency?
That must be very upsetting.

Zillaindie Sun 03-Mar-19 19:21:56

Most definitely report this. There may be someone else who chooses to employ her who doesn't have anyone looking out for them.
Its financial abuse of vulnerable people whether they agreed to her taking the money or not.

toffeecattle Sun 03-Mar-19 19:23:40

Thank you.
Carer 1 (thief) is not from an agency, it was a private arrangement with my DPs.
Carer 2 & 3 from an agency.
Who do I report it to though? We don't have concrete evidence so don't think police will be interested.

Samind Sun 03-Mar-19 19:25:35

Have you got access to bank statements? Also depends if your parents have capacity assessments. Plus other carer might be willing to make a statement

user1498854363 Sun 03-Mar-19 19:28:20

Op, if you think theft has happened you can call the police. Do you or dsis have control of finances? Has capacity assessments been done for dp? How would dp find police involvement? Would dp understand why and be able to explain?

Without evidence you have nothing to report to SS as it’s only hearsay at the moment, but with enough evidence SS and DBS can be informed (as Carer 1 may do other care work...) police can help with that.

Police will be gentle, if DP say they gave the money then not much can be done, esp as it’s their money. If dp have cards, then clearly they are managing their own money.

Is that something that should continue? Can you assist?

No harm in getting it checked. Bank may also help, they are good with this type of thing.
Sorry it’s happened it’s such a risk as there are dodgy people about and financial abuse of elderly is rife! Age U.K. may help also.

toffeecattle Sun 03-Mar-19 19:29:15

Yes, we have access to bank statements. It was why we questioned so much cash being withdrawn.
But how can we prove the cash was stolen not given to DPs?
DM has Alzheimer's, DF is muddled but some capacity.

toffeecattle Sun 03-Mar-19 19:31:39

user, We have taken over all finances now so it can't happen again.
The added complication is that DF is currently in hospital and would be distraught.

toffeecattle Sun 03-Mar-19 19:32:48

I feel sick. I had my suspicions but DF refused to acknowledge it and I let it go.

Juststopit Sun 03-Mar-19 19:33:10

Contact the social services sept at their local authority. This is potentially financial abuse and should be reported as a safeguarding. Chances are the carer will do this again and they need to be stopped. As it was a private arrangement I m guessing there may not have been a dbs check in the carer? Glad you are using an agency now and I m sorry you and your parents are going through this.

Sarah22xx Sun 03-Mar-19 19:40:00

I have no advice but your poor parents, th they're lucky to have you and your sister looking out for them and well done to carer 3 for flagging it up xx

endofthelinefinally Sun 03-Mar-19 19:46:10

My dad's carer emptied his bank account. Nothing we could do, he gave her his PIN to get cash out for him.
MIL's carer stole her jewellery.
Unfortunately it is not uncommon.

Samind Sun 03-Mar-19 20:18:21

If he has Alzheimer's it can be questioned regardless of how lucid he is as to why there were significant amounts being taken. I know of situations where people with dementia have been found with huge sums of money in their homes as they've lifted it out and left it somewhere or suddenyly become mistrustful of banks.

This carer has taken advantage of the situation and will probably do this again.

My heart goes out to you OP. It is not your fault that this person has abused your parents financially. You can't be expected to watch an see everything. They broke your trust.

wigglypiggly Mon 04-Mar-19 21:08:27

You could ask their bank for advice and statements of when cash was taken out, it will be recorded. I'd tell social services.

Parly Tue 05-Mar-19 12:04:36


Sorry to hear this but just to briefly answer your questions and point you in the right direction until I can get back later on.

Firstly this does need reporting. In the first instance I would contact your local authority safeguarding team and get some advice asap. Just search and ring the main number if the one for emergency duty and safeguarding isn't easy to find they can sometimes make it hard work.

The carer that flagged this up with you should have reported this to her supervisor / manager which I'm surprised she hasn't and wonder why. The agency has its own set of policy and procedures to follow in the event of any concerns and allegations.

I would contact them also but after you speak with social services. I'm a former care home manager and safeguarding practitioner and it would make my ears prick to know carers had not done as they should and why.

What SS will do is ensure the carer that allegedly helped herself is placed on a register preventing her from working with vulnerable adults pending investigation. The aim is to stop people from moving from one place to another undetected.

Just means an instant block / ban on her working in care pending the outcome of any investigation and if she is found to be innocent, the ban is lifted, lets her return to work and her details taken off.

People tend to worry about reporting and think it could impact someone who may well be innocent but it is a very through and robust process so don't let that worry you.

Please contact your LA today if possible and I will come back to you later on. If there's anything else in the meantime you are more than welcome to drop me a message and I will reply soon as I can.

Here - have these flowers

Bookworm4 Tue 05-Mar-19 12:07:52

How much cash is missing? Obviously your dad isn't using good judgement, maybe time to take bank card off him and give him an amount each week.

toffeecattle Tue 05-Mar-19 14:05:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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