Dad (81) had a fall last Monday (14th). Top to bottom of the stairs. It took us 10 days to get a proper diagnosis and vague form of treatment plan in place, due to a combination of logistics and general ineptitude on the part of the doctors.
He has 4 broken vertebrae but thankfully no spinal cord trauma. He is able to mobilize in brace with the physio team but is still spending most of the time flat in bed.
It's been a really traumatic couple of weeks - he choked and aspirated last Weds, so had 48 hours nil by mouth and is still on thickened fluids and pureed food. He now has a very bad chest and is awaiting an x ray which will hopefully be tomorrow but who knows? The last one requested was supposed to happen Friday afternoon but eventually took place on Tuesday morning after I spent 10 hours at the hospital chasing various people and ultimately threatened them with PALS and the national Press (and I am really not that person, but it's my dad and it got the job done).
He's getting next to no sleep due to general movement on the ward, and 3 of the 6 beds being occupied by dementia suffers who unfortunately are frequently noisy and disruptive.
He's highly unlikely to return to his previous level of health (which was tending to frail, doddery and depressive anyway) - 50:50 possibility over a 12-18 month period was the consultants view. He's had the brace on a few times and walked a few steps but his overall wellbeing is poor and there's really not much we can do to improve the situation.
Mum is nearly 80, she has a raft of health issues but is largely independent on a day to day basis. However, she's extremely anxious at the best of times and something of a hypochondriac with a vivid imagination. She's managing to stay at her house which is just around the corner from me but she's struggling emotionally - calling/messaging me a dozen times a day (aside from me calling or popping in morning or evening) and mostly panicking and in floods of tears.
I had last week off work on compassionate grounds but can't take any more time (term time only, although they are being a bit flexible). I'm on my own, working full time, with 14yo DD, a mortgage and absolutely no family support (no siblings and everyone else is too old/disinterested/far way).
There's just so much to do and organise and think about I don't know where to start. Suppose I just need a hand hold and if anyone's been in a similar position and has any tips that would be bloody marvellous!
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Elderly parents
Staring down the rabbit hole...no idea where to start or how I'll cope
52 replies
MintyCedric · 26/01/2019 15:31
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