Allocated room much nicer for respite stay than permanent stay?

[carriemeeber]

DM had two respite stays in a lovely care home last year, before rapidly escalating dementia and falls meant she had to move there permanently at the beginning of November. I had to arrange it in a rush as she was in hospital and awaiting discharge, and I was grateful to the home for finding room for her, as they were almost full.

However, the room they offered was small and poky, about half the size of the rooms they originally offered on the same unit for respite care. Those rooms had TVs, lovely views, plenty of room for DM and I to sit and chat, and room for her folding wheelchair. The new room has none of these advantages. The manager was apologetic when I initially contacted her in a panic about DM's admission in late-October. She said they wouldn't normally allocate that room except in emergencies, and would try to upgrade her ASAP. Since then, nothing.

I raised this last week and the manager said there was still nothing available. But when I visited on Friday two of the 'nicer' rooms were empty. I've been trying over the weekend to establish why DM hadn't been moved to one of them, and have finally got through to the manager, who tells me that they are, in fact, 'already reserved', but DM is next on the list for an upgrade.

Have other Mumsnetters encountered this kind of thing? I feel like I'm being taken for a ride, but obviously don't want to piss the staff off. Do care homes generally keep back the best rooms for respite visitors rather than residents, in the hopes of converting them?

[meow2019]

Doesn't it just depend on what is available at that exact moment?

I guess if their nicer rooms are already full/reserved then they wouldn't be able to offer an alternative. Can you ask to be put on the "waiting list" (bit morbid) for a bigger nicer room as and when one becomes available?

[RNBrie]

Who is paying for the room? Is she fully council funded? If you're paying anything towards the costs, you could ask for a fee reduction until she has the amenities you were told to expect.

There are minimum standards for accommodation in care home. They are outline <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.dignityincare.org.uk/_assets/resources/dignity/csipcomment/csci_national_minimum_standards.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjE7piszu3fAhWTonEKHfM2DX0QFjABegQIDRAE&usg=AOvVaw1Y0fVCd85Rf5w5e-B2cDXZ" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">here

Things to check are floor space in her room, facilities like wash basin and windows etc. A TV isn't required but you could ask for one to be provided.

[AnnieOH1]

I'm going out on a limb here and I'm going to say it's a case of bait and switch - especially so if your mom isn't self-funding - and they have no intention of moving her to a better room.

The best rooms will be used for respite care to get you hooked in on how nice the home is, then when you need full residence you'll obviously choose such a great facility.

[mirren3]

Does your Mum have an allocated Social Worker?
If so get them on the case, I've discovered how much more gets done when there is an "official" voice behind you.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

Yes the best rooms are reserved for respite to tempt people to stay there permanently. Presumably you agreed to the permanent room before you accepted it? Are you funding the care yourselves?

[carriemeeber]

Thanks everybodyI suspect a bait-and-switch, particularly since I have heard nothing about my mum's promised move until I initiated that conversation last week. Mum is self-funding, and all residents pay the same expensive weekly rate. I feel fed up, as I keep asking for thingsshelves for the room, a telly, and they are promised but then don't appear.

I'm visiting again tomorrow and will be interested to see if the rooms that were vacant last week are now occupied.

[RNBrie]

I've worked in a care home. The respite rooms were the ones that didn't meet minimum space requirements so they couldn't be used for long term residents.

It doesn't make sense to me that the best rooms would be reserved for respite care unless they have a massive list of people needing respite so they are pretty much always full. If they keep them empty at all they are losing money.

It could be that they are more expensive to rent and you're not paying enough for one of the best rooms

[RNBrie]

Cross post with OP. If she's self funding at the same rate as everyone else then I'd send an email saying you expect a 20% reduction on her fees until the issues with her room have been resolved.

[carriemeeber]

Thank you, everybody--and RNBrie thanks for your helpful link and advice from the inside! I shall have a look tomorrow to see if the room meets minimum space standards, as I suspect it may not. But it is reassuring to know that in your experience it is unlikely that they'll be actively saving the best rooms for respite stays, as I'd initially suspected.

The home is a big one, with seven or eight different units, and residents seem to move between them quite frequently, so I am quite surprised that Mum hasn't been moved to a bigger room yet.

[RNBrie]

I do suspect they are dicking you around. Its probably a very hard room to fill and they are hoping you'll just give up. You'll probably find every new resident has done a stint in there!

Have a look around to see if there are spaces at other homes, the longer she is somewhere the harder it will be to move her but you'll have more bargaining power if you threaten to move her. Good luck!