Anxiety in New Home.

[jak2002003]

I have started to get fixated on noise of music and bright lights which causes me a lot of anxiety and stress.

It's starting to affect my mood, health and relationship as I get really upset, angry about it and act out of character. I can see that there is not really any problem with the low level occasional noise and even the bright lights at my new place, but I am super sensitive to it because of a past experience.. let me give you the background......

We live in Thailand. We moved away from out last place as noise was unbearable. It was lovely there for 4 years. We lived next to a Temple and the new Monk was a nasty guy who would get drunk and play really bad old pop music on a loop sometimes as early as 5am and could go on all day for days, randomly. I was not religious music or anything to do with a festival or party.

It got worse over time, but because of traditions here no one would complain about it. We were the closest house to the temple.

I will not exaggerate when I say the noise actually hurt our ears and we had to get out of the house and drive around... we could hear the music several miles away!! Then a Hindu religious retreat opened up on the other side of us and they would crank up their music to compete with the temple. it was like a mad house. Guests would refuse to stay.. booking into a hotel the next day as they were shocked by the noise.

I nearly had a nervous breakdown.. was so tired and stressed. It was like torture. We eventually sold the house and moved to a new area.

At first it was great. However, sometimes a neighbour will have a party and there will be base music (nowhere near as loud as before). Even if I can hardly hear the base music I seem to fixate on it and get really upset. I even sometimes go out and find where its coming from!!! Often I will leave the house and stay out for hours or until after midnight to make sure the noise is gone. I know this is totally crazy!! Sometimes there is no base music, but I will mistake some other noise, like a car engine running, for base music and instantly get worked up before I realise its nothing!

The second thing is the neighbour opposite has installed several very bright white florescent strip lights around their gate and on the front of their house. These shine into our living room and bedroom, but most annoying for me is they blind me when I go outside to the patio. I love to sit outside in the evening and read.

Again, I have fixated on it to the point that I close the blinds in all the rooms on that side of the house before it gets dark. I look for the slightest chink of light coming through the gaps, or around the window edges. It makes me as upset as the base music now. I can't sleep in the bedroom if the neighbours lights are on.. just because of the little light shadow on the window blinds.. I have to sleep in the back room if the lights stay on after midnight. I stay awake watch TV and make excuses not to come to bed until the lights have gone off.

I feel I am loosing my mind. I am very upset. I can't explain this to my husband who is getting annoyed and confused by my behaviour. I think he thinks I am angry at him. I can't tell him as I feel so stupid.. and worry he will be angry because we moved here because of my stress at the last house.

We always have workers here too building the wall and finishing off the house / garden, seven days a week, and I can't get any privacy. My husband is always with me and never goes out on his own. I feel I need some quiet time on my own away form all the people about now.

It is really getting too much and I am afraid of what is going to happen if I can't find a way to calm down and stop this fixation on noise and the lights.

Any ideas or advise?

Thank you.