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Does anyone recognise this type of elder behaviour ?

(12 Posts)
LanaorAna2 Wed 21-Feb-18 19:17:08

My dad, heavy drinker, aged 81.

He talks for two hours at a time. Loudly, aggressive, lecturing voice.

Gets aggressive if anyone tries to speak or move away from being the listener. Conversation is not allowed.

Tells anyone who tries to stop the flow they’ve got mental problems

Content is a mish mash of broken up old anecdotes, senseless political rambling (he says Jacob Rees Mogg is left wing destroyer of England), boasting about how rich and posh his social circle is, some near-gibberish. I can understand what he’s saying because he’s told the same stories for 30 years and I recognise them, no idea if others can.

He also insults people. Awful whining, like a toxic toddler. Again, the whining is on a loop.

He’s trading on other people’s default compulsory social skills to behave badly. His behaviour is antisocial and becoming fatally so. He gets angry and nasty if he’s reasoned with gently.

He no longer has a social circle – no longer invited out. What the hell can we do? The doc says he's fine.

retirednow Wed 21-Feb-18 19:45:49

Do you think it's the drinking that is causing his behaviour.

LanaorAna2 Wed 21-Feb-18 20:53:11

Who knows. He's much worse at night.

BrazzleDazzleDay Wed 21-Feb-18 20:55:16

Sounds exactly like my fil and funnily enough he's always worse on a Monday- pension and pub day!

Pebble21uk Tue 13-Mar-18 07:56:01

This describes my FIL perfectly - also a heavy drinker late at night after everyone else has gone to bed.
He also 'holds court' at the dinner table talking about his encounters with the aristocracy (with whom he aligns himself), is generally rude and behaves badly in public. His attitude is one of complete superiority.
My partner had a very difficult childhood as a result of his behaviour and only in adulthood has come to realise that he is a textbook narcissist (have a Google) and won't change.
Unfortunately I think it has to be about protecting yourself as much as possible.

cindersrella Tue 13-Mar-18 08:30:40

Is he only doing this when drunk or when he is sober too?

LanaorAna2 Tue 13-Mar-18 09:12:28


Babymamamama Tue 13-Mar-18 09:16:41

How tedious. Sounds like narcissistic traits layered with alcohol and possibly dementia? My grandfather became very self centred in later years. He didn't drink but I would say was narcissistic and this worsened as his world became smaller and he became older.

hesterton Tue 13-Mar-18 09:16:42

Sounds like alcohol induced dementia. What a total bore. I do feel for you.

LanaorAna2 Tue 13-Mar-18 09:19:18

Thanks, it's ghastly. He gets aggressive if anyone tries to quiet him.

Lovesagin Tue 13-Mar-18 09:21:54

Beginnings/early stage vascular dementia is my guess based on my experiences.

cindersrella Tue 13-Mar-18 19:03:33

I was thinking alcohol induced dementia. You could speak to his GP maybe? Or call dementia awareness hotline?

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