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Does anyone recognise this type of elder behaviour ?

(17 Posts)
LanaorAna2 Wed 21-Feb-18 19:17:08

My dad, heavy drinker, aged 81.

He talks for two hours at a time. Loudly, aggressive, lecturing voice.

Gets aggressive if anyone tries to speak or move away from being the listener. Conversation is not allowed.

Tells anyone who tries to stop the flow they’ve got mental problems

Content is a mish mash of broken up old anecdotes, senseless political rambling (he says Jacob Rees Mogg is left wing destroyer of England), boasting about how rich and posh his social circle is, some near-gibberish. I can understand what he’s saying because he’s told the same stories for 30 years and I recognise them, no idea if others can.

He also insults people. Awful whining, like a toxic toddler. Again, the whining is on a loop.

He’s trading on other people’s default compulsory social skills to behave badly. His behaviour is antisocial and becoming fatally so. He gets angry and nasty if he’s reasoned with gently.

He no longer has a social circle – no longer invited out. What the hell can we do? The doc says he's fine.

retirednow Wed 21-Feb-18 19:45:49

Do you think it's the drinking that is causing his behaviour.

LanaorAna2 Wed 21-Feb-18 20:53:11

Who knows. He's much worse at night.

BrazzleDazzleDay Wed 21-Feb-18 20:55:16

Sounds exactly like my fil and funnily enough he's always worse on a Monday- pension and pub day!

Pebble21uk Tue 13-Mar-18 07:56:01

This describes my FIL perfectly - also a heavy drinker late at night after everyone else has gone to bed.
He also 'holds court' at the dinner table talking about his encounters with the aristocracy (with whom he aligns himself), is generally rude and behaves badly in public. His attitude is one of complete superiority.
My partner had a very difficult childhood as a result of his behaviour and only in adulthood has come to realise that he is a textbook narcissist (have a Google) and won't change.
Unfortunately I think it has to be about protecting yourself as much as possible.

cindersrella Tue 13-Mar-18 08:30:40

Is he only doing this when drunk or when he is sober too?

LanaorAna2 Tue 13-Mar-18 09:12:28


Babymamamama Tue 13-Mar-18 09:16:41

How tedious. Sounds like narcissistic traits layered with alcohol and possibly dementia? My grandfather became very self centred in later years. He didn't drink but I would say was narcissistic and this worsened as his world became smaller and he became older.

hesterton Tue 13-Mar-18 09:16:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LanaorAna2 Tue 13-Mar-18 09:19:18

Thanks, it's ghastly. He gets aggressive if anyone tries to quiet him.

Lovesagin Tue 13-Mar-18 09:21:54

Beginnings/early stage vascular dementia is my guess based on my experiences.

cindersrella Tue 13-Mar-18 19:03:33

I was thinking alcohol induced dementia. You could speak to his GP maybe? Or call dementia awareness hotline?

annandale Sun 08-Apr-18 23:47:13

You could try having him seen by a specialist speech and language therapist? I would say just contact a private one (via this website if you can afford it. Search for someone who specialises in the over 65s and who has extensive experience with neurological disorders and dementia, and go to the home visit with them. They should be able to characterise what's going on with his speech and language, and do a report, which might help the GP and move things along.

Brittanyspears Fri 04-May-18 12:19:02

Pick’s disease? It effects social interaction and boundaries

MarklahMarklah Fri 04-May-18 12:31:58

It could be early stages of dementia. I had problems with an elderly relative of mine not being diagnosed by their GP, despite escalating symptoms over the years. In this case, the personality and behaviours were different to start with, but later, there was a loss of grip on reality (almost hallucinations) and a lot of aggressive and abusive talk.

However, it could equally be the drink, narcissm, or even some form of depression. I think you need a second medical opinion, perhaps from someone more specialised.

DixieTrix Fri 04-May-18 18:16:05

Korsakoff syndrome is a chronic memory disorder caused by severe deficiency of thiamine (vitamin B-1). Korsakoff syndrome is most commonly caused by alcohol misuse, but certain other conditions also can cause the syndrome.

It's a type of alcohol related dementia, read up and see if his symptoms fit.

ohtheholidays Wed 09-May-18 00:29:31

It sounds like dementia OP,I've looked after 3 people with dementia so far,my Dad would re tell the same storys time and time again and he could get confused and worried(almost child like)and he'd get really angry and could be quite nasty.

If it was me I'd make an appointment with the Doctor and tell them your concerns,your Dad should be referred for a cognitive memory test,sadly some Dr's are really on the ball and get tests and support sorted out quickly where as other's are bloody useless!

If you can't get any joy with your Dad's Dr's or you don't think you will get intouch with this charity they can be really good at acting as an advocate for the dementia sufferer and they're family.

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