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Struggling

(8 Posts)
2ndSopranos Wed 07-Feb-18 22:16:58

I hope it's okay to post here. Compared to what some of you are dealing with my problems are minuscule.

My dad, 88, is, as far as I can tell from his test results, is in severe/end stage renal failure. If they can't improve the situation, he may need dialysis or a transplant. That probably wouldn't be a sensible option. He's at a high risk of heart attack and ends up in hospital every so often.

It's struck me recently how old he really is. I'm utterly heartbroken but don't want to burden mum (younger but not in the best health herself). Dh doesn't like to talk about this type of stuff - he's close to my dad and I think he's in denial - and I'm an only child.

I'm at the point where every time the phone rings, I think it could be it.

thesandwich Wed 07-Feb-18 22:20:53

Sorry to hear about your df. Do you have anyone in rl you can talk to? Post away here- there are lots of wise folk on here.

2ndSopranos Wed 07-Feb-18 22:51:47

I've no one really. Dh doesn't get it.

2ndSopranos Wed 07-Feb-18 22:52:11

My friends have their own stuff going, too.

thesandwich Thu 08-Feb-18 07:57:48

Sorry soprano. Please post more as there is lots of wisdom and support.

timeistight Thu 08-Feb-18 13:40:42

Absolutely understand how you feel OP. My heart sinks every time the phone rings at home. I don't think MIL can actually make calls any more, but that doesn't take the anxiety away.

Lovely people here have been through the mill and 'get' it.

Mishappening Thu 08-Feb-18 13:43:30

It is hard - in my case it is my OH who is ill, and every time I walk into the bedroom I wonder if he will still be with us.

Is your Dad able to enjoy life still? Are there things that you could do with him that might enhance this stage of his life? It might help you to have something concrete and practical to do.

I am sure that he knows you care and that is what matters most.

flowers

RaininSummer Thu 08-Feb-18 13:44:57

It is so very sad to see a parent age, weaken and get life threatening illness. Unfortunately it is an unavoidable part of being lucky enough to have loving parents for a good long time. Try not to dwell on the gloom but think of all the lovely times you have had together and try to make visits really happy ones..

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