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Anyone moved mum in at 70?

(9 Posts)
AnnieHoo Sat 13-Jan-18 22:00:34

My mum is a fit 70yr old and I'd love to move her in with us, build an extension maybe a bedroom ensuite with living space with entry to our kitchen living area and her own outside porch area so friends can visit...... it's happening! How can we make it work well?

littlebillie Sun 14-Jan-18 09:42:30

We've considered this but but were warned off my friends that have done it.

LizzieSiddal Sun 14-Jan-18 09:46:11

No, but there are lots of questions here.

Firstly everyone one is different. My mum is 72 and still works 3 days a week. She’s not “elderly” at all. If I suggested she moved in with us she’d think I was mad. Does she want to move in with you?

Do you get on?

NovemberWitch Sun 14-Jan-18 09:47:20

Why do you want her to move in, and how does she feel about it?

littlebillie Sun 14-Jan-18 10:22:51

Is she making s financial contribution And if she does what is the consequence if she falls ill have you agreed future care plan.

Other thoughts are agreed contact and integration seems over the top but boundaries for your marriage and family are important

devilinme Mon 15-Jan-18 18:36:54

I moved my mum in. She's now been moved to a nursing home.
If you have had any issues with her in childhood and are going to look after her out of FOG, it will be a nightmare.

CPtart Mon 15-Jan-18 19:15:43

My friend did this. Her DM's health is now failing, needs to be cared for and friend is off work sick with stress and depression as the set up has led to certain expectations. Be cautious.

AnnieHoo Tue 16-Jan-18 22:25:24

My mum is currently fit and healthy and that is why we want to do this now with as much independence as possible for her, her own space and ocntinuinf to work. She works for a third sector care provider and loves it, loves meeting friends for coffee and walking dog and being part of cancer charity committee in spare time. Since my granny died she has expressed that she is lonely and would like to live near us.... ideally with us but no in our pockets... we get on very well and my husband gets on very well with her... we have lots of space and live in a beautiful setting. I saw my mother care for her mother and it taught me that that is what I want to do for mine...I want to cherish her

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 16-Jan-18 22:30:08

My sister did this with our dm. It actually worked really well for about 15 years until dm died aged 85. They were very much blended in each other’s lives and it worked for them. It would’ve have worked with me as I love my own space too much, and my dc are a lot younger and were all consuming at the time this would have coincided.

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