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Father not talking/ignoring me? WIBU?

(7 Posts)
msmum007 Wed 20-Sep-17 05:14:00

I went to a classical music concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London, about a year ago with my DF. He'd arranged it and I was really looking forward to it. Particularly, as there was a very old valuable violin, called a Stradivarius(?). The violin actually had its own bodyguard, I'm not joking, so must have been very valuable. I was particularly fascinated to watch this lady in playing it and to hear such a beautiful sound from it. Any attempt by me would sound awful; it would sound like a cat's chorus!

My DF had arranged for us to sit in boxes, so we should have had an amazing view. However, there was a gentleman who was wearing a prominent cap, moving around a lot in his seat, because he decided that he was conducting the music as well as humming to it. I could only get glances of this woman and her violin. I felt really disappointed. After a while, I leaned forward, tapped on this gentleman's shoulder and very politely asked if he could remove his cap and sit a bit stiller. It was deliberate movement after all. Initially he removed his cap and he was totally bald, but to me I don't know if that was by choice as I have quite a few male friends who've gone for the shaved look or he'd had chemo. He was obviously with friends and some whispering ensued. He swapped seats with a friend, put his cap back on and started his conducting again. Thankfully out of my eye line.

Since then my DF hasn't talked to me and didn't talk to me on the way home. I thanked him profusely and said I'd really enjoyed it and looked forward to the next trip out, as he'd previously promised. I explained about wanting to watch this woman too and I was particularly fascinated by the Stradivarius violin; such an old valuable instrument that could play such beautiful music, by the violinist. It was me doing all the talking and he only talked when prompted with a question. He dropped me off and went.

My DF hasn't spoken to me at all for over a year now and I really don't understand at all. I was extremely polite to this gentleman. I couldn't have been more polite🤔.


hesterton Wed 20-Sep-17 05:27:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elllicam Wed 20-Sep-17 05:53:13

For a year? Your father is majorly overreacting!

OliviaStabler Wed 20-Sep-17 06:01:15

Are you sure this incident was the cause of the issue and not something else?

redcarbluecar Wed 20-Sep-17 06:21:56

Even if you handled the issue at RAH reasonably, I guess he may have felt embarrassed, or that it had marred an evening intended to be a special (and expensive?) treat. Maybe him overreacting, but some people do have those sensibilities. However, not to speak to you for a year seems really strange. Do you have a difficult relationship with him usually?

LavenderDoll Wed 20-Sep-17 06:40:28

Sounds a massive over reaction
Do you normally have a good relationship
Is he prone to sulking
Have you tried contact and been rebuffed

user1487671808 Wed 20-Sep-17 07:03:05

After he moved was he in your fathers eyeline? Maybe that pissed him off and he thinks you WBU.

If it happened as you describe then your DF was either mortified that you asked or there have been other things and this was the last. Is her the 'easily offended' type?

If you phone or go round does he just stonewall you? Have you sat him down and just asked him what the problem is?

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