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Elderly parents

My poor dad :'(

30 replies

Longdistance · 18/07/2017 17:42

We've been run through the mill with my poor dad. He had a fall in 2014, and broke his fima (thigh bone) at the top. He had the op and they put the wrong sized metal into his leg. Infection after infection, and a stay at the Nuffield hospital in Oxford, they decided they couldn't do anymore for him, and that he wouldn't be able to walk ever again. He was sent home, and my dm became his carer.

They'd send in carers 3 times a week, and when he was slowly getting better, they had the carers just come in the mornings.

Df was in and out of hospital with chest infections/bronchitis/pneumonia. He's always been ok, and come out in good health.

So, on Sunday he was blue lighted in, and was found to have kidney failure. He got progressively worse, and was put on dialysis. He hasn't improved at all, and if he hasn't progressed in the next few days, they are going to switch the dialysis off, as his heart is weak also.

I don't know what I'm asking, but I just need a hand hold 😭

Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Cocolepew · 18/07/2017 17:44

Im sorry, how awful Flowers
How dreadful that they put the wrong sized rod in!

Longdistance · 18/07/2017 18:11

Thanks coco.

The rod was eventually taken out, and never replaced. The bone grew back as a mass globule of bone. It's been really painful for him Sad

OP posts:
Footle · 18/07/2017 18:41

What a shocking thing to happen during that operation.

gybegirl · 18/07/2017 18:46

I just wanted to say how much I feel for you. It is heart breaking seeing a strong wonderful parent struggle so much. I don't have any magical wand of course. My only advice would be to make your dad as comfortable as possible - please draw any possible issues to the attention of the staff immediately - and chat about happier memories. x

mumonashoestring · 18/07/2017 18:50

Poor chap. And poor you! On the off chance he's back in one of the Oxford hospitals, I work not far away - if you need someone to eat lunch/have a coffee with and chat to take your mind off things, shout.

Longdistance · 18/07/2017 19:53

Thanks everyone.

My df was in Oxford in 2014, we live about an hour and a half away, and we travelled there to visit him.

The rod was taken out, and an investigation was made that they failed him in his care.

Sorry if my op wasn't clear, my heads all over the place Sad

OP posts:
Longdistance · 20/07/2017 16:57

So, they have taken him off the dialysis machine today. And it's just a matter of time. He doesn't really know what's going on, so my db explained it to him, and he said he wants to fall asleep and never wake up Sad

OP posts:
MidnightVelvetthe7th · 20/07/2017 17:06

So sorry to hear this Flowers

As deaths go its a good one, a quiet one & his passing will be peaceful. When my mum died the nurse said to me that hearing is the last sense to go, so keep talking to him & talk amongst yourselves round him & he will know he is loved.

I'm thinking of you xxx

chips4teaplease · 20/07/2017 17:08
Flowers
Letitrain · 20/07/2017 17:11

Bless your dear old dad OP. Be kind to yourself x

Longdistance · 20/07/2017 20:27

Thank you for your kind words x

He had been moved out of ITU and is on a ward. He mumbled something, and said 'I'm going to die, cheerio' Sad that has set us all off.

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 20/07/2017 20:41

I'm so sorry. Flowers

Cocolepew · 21/07/2017 14:24
Flowers
thesandwich · 22/07/2017 11:15

So sorry. Could the local hospice help?

Longdistance · 22/07/2017 17:14

I've just come back from the hospital, and the priest read my dad the last rights Sad it's just a matter of time.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts x

OP posts:
thesandwich · 22/07/2017 18:23

[flower]

thesandwich · 22/07/2017 18:24

Oops Flowers

isthistoonosy · 22/07/2017 18:26

Flowers

So sorry for him and you all.

Footle · 23/07/2017 08:42

So sorry, longdistance.

sandgrown · 23/07/2017 08:46

So sorry to hear this. Just keep talking and holding his hand. Flowers

Letitrain · 23/07/2017 11:25

Thinking of you OP and your dad of course too. X

Longdistance · 23/07/2017 12:44

Thanks again for your kind words x

Df passed away in his sleep early this morning. He isn't in pain anymore.

We saw him earlier, and he looked at peace.

We have so much to sort out, but we're leaving it for tomorrow just so we can take stock. Told dd's, and dd2 said she was going to miss papa, she's only 6 😢

OP posts:

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niceandspicey · 23/07/2017 12:46

Flowers am so sorry for your loss

poppym12 · 23/07/2017 12:47

I'm sorry Flowers

thesandwich · 23/07/2017 13:27

I am so sorry. Flowers

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