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How to make the best decision?

(3 Posts)
noarguments Sun 09-Jul-17 12:27:38

Briefly - Dad's been in hospital for a month after a nasty infection. He in his late 80s and has Parkinson's and an emerging dementia. Before hospital he was managing OK, just, but things were getting difficult. He basically lives alone, has someone coming in to do his meals, washing, make sure he has his pills etc.
His confusion has got much worse in hospital and levels of lucidity vary wildly. His mobility is poor now, he's very unstable and he is unable to walk with his zimmer without someone with him. His house has steps between every room, and far from ideal.
The hospital are starting to talk to us about plans for discharge. I'm really struggling with the received wisdom that everyone does better if they can be supported to stay at home. In theory I agree whole-heartedly, but in reality I can't see it working. Do we try to get him home with carers in the knowledge that we don't think it will work and he'll have to move again, or do we bite the bullet and look at care homes. Both conditions are going to get worse over time, even if he picks up a little at home (which I think he might, as he'll be less institutionalised).
Sorry for the rant - any views would be welcome, but I think getting my thoughts down was really useful, so thanks if you read this far! flowers

halcyondays Sun 09-Jul-17 12:41:38

Can you speak to the hospital social worker? They may be able to arrange for him to go into a home at least temporarily when he leaves hospital. If he does need to move into a home permanently, they will have a list of homes in the area and will know which ones are suitable for him, whether he needs residential or nursing care, also some homes are more geared up to deal with dementia.

NecklessMumster Sun 09-Jul-17 15:19:45

I'm in a similar position, as an adult care social worker I'd say try at home first as people generally do better in their own homes and legally if you're acting in someone's best interests you need to look at the 'least restrictive' option for them. As a daughter I know it's going to be messy and stressful all round. It might buy some time whilst you look at homes? It depends on the quality of the home or the care agency too

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