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I feel so guilty and upset

(2 Posts)
Yorkshirelass2016 Thu 25-May-17 00:15:48

My dad died in December 2013 he suffered from mental illness most of his life and had spent time in hospital, he was first committed at 16 and was given electric shock treatment. When I was in my late 20s my dad got ill again although he had gradually dipped in his health over a number of years. My mum started saying she was worried about him and how he was aggressive with her in the house. One morning she rang me upset he had attacked in the house she had run into the garden she was scared of him. I lived 45 mins away I thought the best thing to do was ring the hospital they came for my dad and took him away he hadn't been taken his medication for sometime. It then led to years of rollercoaster ride with my dad in and out of hospital care up to his death. He basically gave up on life in the end he couldn't cope being in hospital it rough back a lot of memories for him I think. I thought I had dealt with my dad's death but since all this discussion about mental health on tv it's made me realise how bad a time my dad had and really feel so guilty I let him down I wish I had never rung he hospital, they didn't really do very much for him other then stick him on a bed and give him tablets he needed to talk to someone properly about how he wasn't feeling. I just feel wracked with guilt all of a sudden and don't really know how to process it, I can't even say sorry to him. sad

teddycat Thu 25-May-17 00:43:50

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, I do not know what to say but you need to get a counsellor tomorrow who can tell you the right things and how to deal with this. Your dads life sounds troubled from the start, this is not your fault, you are feeling pain for him which is in itself honouring him, please speak to someone in the morning.

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