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Dementia care homes

(17 Posts)
iamthemanny Tue 14-Feb-17 18:07:05

I have young children and a parent with Dementia.

Are any Dementia care homes not full of violent swearing patients. I understand this is common with Dementia care homes.

Has anyone had any positive experiences with Dementia care homes?

Sittinginthesun Tue 14-Feb-17 18:13:29

Have you been to look around any? They vary, as do people with dementia. Not everyone is angry and loud, I know many who are calm and peaceful, as it the atmosphere in the care home.

iamthemanny Tue 14-Feb-17 18:26:04

Yes I saw quite a few. They all seemed calm. But after a trial period it is anything but. Maybe it is this particular home.

whataboutbob Wed 15-Feb-17 13:18:52

As dementia has a range of prsentations, but disorientation, disinhibition and anxiety are common. So at any one time, unless they only take people in the end stages (unlikely) there will be some residents with difficult behaviour. It will also fluctuate as residents go through different stages in their illness. In short, I would think it's unlikely you'll find a home with no difficult behaviour at least some of the time.

MiddlingMum Wed 15-Feb-17 13:22:43

I very frequently visit a home (elderly relative there) which is generally calm and pleasant to be in. They do have one or two more "difficult" residents but the staff treat them with respect and are good at distracting them. This is a home with excellent inspection reports and good management.

Many residents - including mine - spend much of their time asleep, or are busy with activities and meal/snack times.

I hope you find somewhere suitable for your parent, it is hard work.

bigTillyMint Wed 15-Feb-17 13:28:49

My DM is in a nursing home for dementia patients. I don't go frequently because of distance, but I have never heard anyone swearing when I have been there.
I agree with the posts above - the residents are usually either eating/doing activities/sleeping/in their own rooms. It seems very calm and caring whenever I go.

well, DM does say "blugger" at times

iamthemanny Wed 15-Feb-17 13:37:01

Many of the residents I have seen are unable to take part in activities due to their dementia often co-morbid with other horrific mental illness.

Then there is the cost. 1k a week. Is anyone paying less? Most seem more.

Thanks for all your posts smile

iamthemanny Wed 15-Feb-17 13:39:12

This is what I have seen on visits to potential homes too.

Madratlady Wed 15-Feb-17 13:51:17

There are good ones. The last home I worked in long term had a dementia residential unit, a dementia nursing unit and a locked dementia unit for people who needed closer supervision to stay safe. They were calm, the staff truly cared and the activities staff did what they could even for those who couldn't do much.

Care homes vary hugely though. I have quit 2 jobs after a couple of months due to care standards being rubbish.

bigTillyMint Thu 16-Feb-17 07:57:11

Yes, DM's is just over £1k a week. And I think that is relatively cheap! TBH, the first issue is finding somewhere that can meet your parents needs - do you want one that will last them the rest of their days? If so, it may be more expensive due to needing nursing care?

iamthemanny Thu 16-Feb-17 08:32:02

I think when she is in, it will be in for good yes. There was a good one but 1.6k a week !!

AstrantiaMajor Thu 16-Feb-17 08:41:16

I would find one that has more than one residents lounge. My mum was in a very small home but the more disruptive patients spent their time in a separate lounge. There was a lower lighting and a permanent staff member in there.

iamthemanny Thu 16-Feb-17 09:25:29

This one had a visitors room. But cannot remember if there was more than one for the residents. Sounds a good idea. Thanks.

AstrantiaMajor Thu 16-Feb-17 09:49:55

Have you asked about whether your mum can spend time in her own room, if she wishes? If there are ground floor bedrooms this is allowed in some homes. Also, if it is possible I would time your visits with children for mornings or early afternoons. Very often dementia patients start to become more disruptive as the day progresses. Tiredness, lower light levels and sleeping in armchairs seem to have an adverse effect on there behaviour.

Tinkerclare Thu 16-Feb-17 09:55:15

Yes my dm is in dementia care home. It's great and now I wish I had not left her in her own home so long (she had live in care). Now she is stimulated, calm, and I can pop in and see her with the kids whenever. But yes expensive. London area. 1,250 per week. I did see some horrors for not much less.

Tinkerclare Thu 16-Feb-17 09:58:30

By the way, the one my fm is in has 3 floors with top for dementia patients. It is secure (i.e. A coded door) but they spend a lot of time in the rest of the home with other residents doing activities, going out.

Needmoresleep Thu 16-Feb-17 10:47:40

I have been looking, in a half hearted sort of way, at dementia homes as a next step.

And about £2000pw for DOLS mid stage dementia, no nursing, outside London. An American chain. Lots of hard sell, sufficient to make me want to run. They also refused to tell be the price for end stage, non ambulant. Though this is where my mother is likely to end up.

I am so lucky to have sneaked my mum into very sheltered whilst she still had enough capacity to adjust. She has now been there four years and the monthly cost, even with more top up care than strictly needed is a lot less.

My mums pt carer also does some nights as an agency carer. Some homes, looking lovely during the day, are effectively entirely staffed by agency staff at night. It is a question that might be asked. (It means her hours can vary as agencies can lose contracts more or less overnight so cannot offer their staff anything but zero hours. Not a formula for retaining quality staff. Plus homes can treat agency staff quite badly and inevitably don't put much effort into motivating them.)

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