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Advice needed

(5 Posts)
Amaried Fri 03-Feb-17 20:27:43

Hoping someone here can advise. My fil 82 while never the warm and fussy time has in the last year become incredibly angry, aggressive, paranoid and simply put horrible to me around my mil takes the brunt of this but it's started to spill outside family to
Neighbours etc with him accusing people of talking about him. He has nothing positive to stay about a single person. His gp is useless and has just said that he tested him about a year ago for Alzheimer's and he was fine. After some pushing by my sim he prescribed some anti depressives of some sort but if anything he seems worse. His mental function has slipped in recent years and while
I know this was a source of frustration to him, his anger and pure venom has massively increased lately. Physically he is very good health and the family are at their wits end with what to do with him.

bilbodog Fri 03-Feb-17 21:34:19

He could be tested again for dementia - a short appointment with a dr doesnt always show it in the early stages. There are a number of different types of neurological conditions some of which might have changes in personality rather than typical memory problems. I hope you can get a proper diagnosis as this would help you all deal with him.

Amaried Fri 03-Feb-17 22:15:12

Thanks for the reply. We just feel really helpless at the moment. He's clearly deeply unhappy and is making everyone around him unhappy too. Someday I feel so sorry for him and others after he says something incredibly cruel I want to clobber him. His gp seems reluctant to refer him to a geriatrician but we might try and get seen privately without one. That's of course if he'll go for us

whataboutbob Sun 05-Feb-17 16:16:10

This sounds like classic earlyish dementia symptoms, and paranoia is very common. My dad became obsessed (amongst others) with a sword his father had given him, and it being stolen. I actually did 4 hour round trips to his house to look for it, and invariably found it under his bed/ in his clothes closet.
Some GPs are less than competent in helping patients and families with dementia, and take the view that as nothing can be offered, why give someone a devastating diagnosis. Unfortunately this tends to result in families being helpless and robs everyone of time which could be used to put things such as POA in place. Is there another, possibly younger GP at the practice and could an appointment be arranged and your FIL accompanied? Unfortunately the problem is not going to go away.

Amaried Sun 05-Feb-17 22:02:49

Thanks whatsboutbob, I'm very much afraid you are right. We are just back from a visit and while he can normally put on a jovial enough face for us but today he wasn't even able to do that. My Dh spoke to him and he is full of vitriol and venom especially about mil , she s a bad housekeeper , doesn't listen to him, lazy, selfish etc. This about his wife of 50 years , he is always irrationally angry about my husband uncle ( mil brother) who lives abroad,, he is a very relaxed Batchelors introvert.. and Bil who lives next door.
He completely refuses to see anything wrong in his behaviour and is convinced that we are all conspiring with mil.. not sure he would even attend a doc at this stage. Sil spoke to gp and demanded a referral to geriatrician but really can't see him going.. god senility would nearly be easier.

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