This isn't a rant. Just something I want to share - if you have a similar discussion one day, you could be better prepared. My very elderly father died last week after a short and swift decline. His LPA was still with the OPG so wasn't in force, but we knew he didn't want to be resuscitated. He also wanted us consulted, but that was not yet official. He was in hospital and I understood his condition was deteriorating and he would not survive. So far so good.
What I didn't keep distinct in my mind while I was having The Discussion with the consultant's team was the difference between him not being resuscitated and them withdrawing the treatment he was on (I wanted my sister to hear about the latter, and she was due in 1-2 hours). Because I didn't distinguish the two, there was an unnecessary conversation about intensive care procedures and priorities and how it wasn't appropriate. This created a tense atmosphere in which the consultant said, as he had the right to, they were going to withdraw treatment he was on immediately. Had I kept my wits about me, I could have stopped the resuscitation discussion, and got focus on the only actual decision: when to stop treatment. I might (or might not) have got them to wait to explain this until my sister was also there - and if not explain to me why they wanted to act now. Maybe they knew he was in distress that was not obvious to me. The hospital as a whole was excellent, my sister and I don't have a problem with what was done, but this conversation could have been better. Re-reading this, I sound rather precious to me, but at the time I felt rushed and railroaded and I could have handled it better.
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Elderly parents
End of Life discussion
5 replies
AutumnLeaves61 · 26/09/2016 12:28
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