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My mum died yesterday

(4 Posts)
bananaskin123 Sun 28-Aug-16 13:27:44

She had been living in a care home for nearly three years and we celebrated her 100th birthday in March. She was becoming increasingly frail although still walked well and also suffered from dementia. Her carers found her in her armchair early yesterday morning.

I think I am coping as to be quite honest she really had no life, I couldn't discuss anything with her over the past couple of years, she had children and grandchildren plus four great grandchildren and up until she was 97 had a real interest so really its a blessing. I just am so glad we celebrated her 100th back in March. She had lived alone for over 40 years since my dad died. I can remember all those years ago after dad's funeral her telling us she would cry but never in front of us and she never did.

She always expressed the wish that she wanted to be buried with my dad and younger brother who died aged 27 in an RTA and this we will do.

I really don't have a very good relationship with my only brother and his wife for lots of reasons but I know I have to be the better person and honestly I am not sure how I go about it. My brother and I will need to spend time together going to the Bank/Solicitors/undertakers/church. Anybody else had problems with close relatives and how did you work through it. I really want the funeral to be a celebration of a life well lived so I need to shake myself don't I. Any coping mechanisms greatly appreciated.

Just as an aside we had booked to go away for a week on 11th September. I'm beginning to wonder if I should try and see if we can postpone it as people are telling me sometimes you have to wait up to three weeks for a funeral. We had already postponed once because of my OH having treatment.

iPost Sun 28-Aug-16 15:35:51

Oh love I'm so sorry.

I have no tips for you unfortunately. Despite having no realtionship with 1 sibling..

I hope it all goes as smoothly as it can.

<big fat hug>

FadedRed Sun 28-Aug-16 17:06:34

flowers Bananaskin
So sorry for your loss. I remember a family member whose DM died at 100 after a few years of very poor physical and mental health. She said she realised that although 'it was a blessing' and she had had her mother for longer than most people, she still felt like an orphan. I said that those feelings were absolutely normal, however advanced the age, she's still your mum and no-one can replace her.
Your mantra for the days ahead should maybe be along the lines of "this is the last thing we can do for Mum, so let's make it about her, and do her proud".

Mausageandsash Sun 28-Aug-16 17:18:03

I'm so sorry sweetheart I hope it will get better soon (it will) and I'd phone the funeral organisers to see dates before you begin to think about the holiday. Xflowers

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