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Help with things like a downstairs bathroom...

(16 Posts)

Dp's mum is only in her 70s, but recently has become alarmingly frail. She barely gets out of bed and seriously struggles getting to the bathroom, let alone downstairs.

Dp and his children all live in her house. One of the children works as an apprentice on £3.30 p/h, the other is unemployed (long story). Dp is on a low wage himself, and with both children being adults and out of education, he doesn't qualify for any tax credits or child benefit. His mum owns the house outright.

Given that in theory his mum could borrow against the house (equity release?) and there are three able bodied adults in the house (albeit with sweet FA between them, moneywise), could they be eligible for some kind of grant towards fitting a downstairs bathroom?

Sorry, any advice much appreciated smile

5BlueHydrangea Mon 08-Aug-16 21:15:38

Might be worth contacting AgeUK or the local council?

Muchtoomuchtodo Mon 08-Aug-16 21:18:08

Local adult social services will be able to assess.

MrsDeVere Mon 08-Aug-16 21:18:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere Mon 08-Aug-16 21:20:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thanks all. I hadn't thought of adult social services - she sees her GP who I'd hope would be on the ball, but either she underplays how difficult things are, or the GP just doesn't have time to refer her.

I also think dp is in denial - without being over dramatic his mum is going downhill so fast I can't see her being around much longer unless her quality of life is improved and the only way to do that is to get her mobile again. She won't go downstairs for days on end.

I'd like her to get a bit better, sell the house and spend the entire proceeds on a series of cruises, but she's not selfish like I am too worried about everyone else's welfare.

Both her and dp are quite intimidated by social workers, doctors, 'the authorities' in general. It's infuriating. I've tried not to be bossy, but I think now might be the time.

MrsDeVere Mon 08-Aug-16 21:38:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'll call them tomorrow, MrsDeVere smile

hatgirl Mon 08-Aug-16 21:46:35

Even if social services/ occupational therapy can help there could be a long waiting list for bathroom adaptations. Months or even years.

In the meantime have a look at this link for ideas about equipment she may be able to use in the meantime to make life easier, you can still approach adult social care for this type of equipment and the waiting list is likely to be much much shorter.

hatgirl Mon 08-Aug-16 21:48:16

For example if she is struggling to get to the toilet would a commode in her bedroom be useful?

Floralnomad Mon 08-Aug-16 21:50:55

Have you considered a stairlift , would be much cheaper than fitting a downstairs bathroom .

All food for thought, thank you.

Quick update, we have someone from Age Concern coming in a couple of weeks to help with the attendance allowance claim and to discuss any other help she could be entitled to. GP has visited again and is referring her to a physiotherapist, as well as upping her meds.

Thanks everyone for all your input - I'm keeping it all in mind.

A brief further update - Age UK have been brilliant. Their visitor spent ages with her, asking all the right questions and filling out the allowance application (which is a bastard of a form - how anyone completes them alone is beyond me), in great detail.

Thanks again, all smile

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