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Unwanted visitor to my grandfather

(6 Posts)
MyFriendsCallMeOh Sun 05-Jun-16 21:41:50

My grandfather is 100 years old, is blind and has dementia although mobile and relatively capable. He lives in a great care home and has done for a couple of years. I live overseas and my father (his son) lives in the same small town as him so visits regularly.

Prior to my dgf's admission to his current home, he lived in a house and he had a driver / cleaner. This lady (we'll call her J) would take him shopping, keep the house relatively clean etc. J also (unknown to us at the time) had access to his bank accounts and pin numbers etc. We don't know how much, if any, money she took from him but my father has since obtained full power of attorney and is now in charge of his finances.

J keeps visiting my dgf in his care home. She hangs around the public areas "looking for a target" according to my df. He thinks she's looking to befriend a vulnerable elderly resident.

The home is refusing to ban J and my df says a restraining order will take 12 months.

In order not to dripfeed, the home owner spoke quite roughly to my dgf on Friday (witnesses by my df) and demanded that he tell her that he didn't want j to visit any more. My dgf responded with "who is J?". He feels shaken up by the whole questioning thing, my df doesn't want to move him from the home but doesn't feel that the home is helping with the situation.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this? What can we do?

CamembertQueen Sun 05-Jun-16 21:53:22

If you think he is at risk you could contact adult social services, they ,ya want to raise it as a safeguarding. Either way, they will look into and maybe that might put J off visiting. If your Grandfather doesn't know who J is now and they financially abused him in the past, then you are righ to be concerned. The Care Home Manager should have been a bit more diplomatic and understanding to be honest, that is quite shocking.

Stardust160 Sun 05-Jun-16 21:57:55

I work in a care home. it's a safe guarding issue for your DGF and other residents if she has a history of financial abuse. I would suggest you log a complaint to CQC (care quality commission who will look into the complaint your DF has submitted in regards to J. OP was there evidence that she had taken money?

OddBoots Sun 05-Jun-16 22:00:57

There is a charity that offers information and support about elder abuse, they may be able to advise you.


"The helpline not only provides direct advice and help to people who may be in danger of experiencing abuse but they also provide unique information on the nature, circumstances and dynamics of elder abuse. Ring us on: 080 8808 8141."

WhatEverZen Sun 05-Jun-16 22:13:08

As Camembert queen said, there are safeguarding routes you can take with adult social services. The access to financial info could be a worrying sign or simply a pragmatic, albeit inappropriate, solution to issues that were presented at the time....

But from what you've posted, what is it exactly that you think she has done? Playing devils advocate, it may be that she has simply struck up a friendly relationship with your dgf without any hidden agendas ...

I think you would need to have more substance to substantiate any safeguarding concerns to trigger safeguarding concerns. For example, now that your df has power of attorney, is there evidence of financial abuse?

MyFriendsCallMeOh Sun 05-Jun-16 23:39:26

Thank you for your responses. I will ask my df about evidence of financial abuse and pass him this thread too. Then we can look at the CQC.

My df is very wary of her and is sure she has an ulterior motive, hanging round a care home with many dementia patients 5 lunchtimes a week. She's retired herself and married with grown up kids and grandchildren so I'm not sure she's needing the company although I fully appreciate she's not doing anything wrong in this respect.

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