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Father deaf and mentally impaired but won't activate POA

(5 Posts)
PollyPerky Wed 06-Apr-16 21:57:11

My dad is 90, deaf almost even with hearing aids and has cognitive impairment. All the household bills- eg utility- are in his name. They are being ripped off for fuel by not changing to a cheaper tariff (just found this out) and I've suggested they change and have found something much better. But now what? Dad can't converse on the phone, he won't understand what is being said, but as the accounts are in his name what d o we do?
Sometimes my mum speaks for him, after he has agreed on the phone that she can. But there are some things that are complicated and even she is struggling with.
He's (and she) are reluctant to activate POA (it's in their wills) on the basis they will not be in control any more (not true) so I can't deal with any of the admin that is in his name.

They are not well off at all and at the moment hundreds of pounds are being wasted.

Any ideas?

Helenluvsrob Thu 07-Apr-16 09:53:56

Hugs polly.

I'm afraid the simple answer to this is that they are allowed to make unwise choices unless / until you can demonstrate they have lost capacity ( to retain, weigh up and choose based on information given) or it becomes a safeguarding matter - eg choosing not to pay rent putting thrm at risk if homelessness.

As with much in this area you have to wait for the delicately balanced house of cards to fall down before intervention can be forced.

PollyPerky Thu 07-Apr-16 14:22:18

I know but what is very difficult is that he is wasting money which- if he dies first , highly likely due to various conditions- my mum is going to be left very poor when she's on her own (they have hardly any capital if she lives for several years.)

I'm afraid he can't weigh up, retain and make a sensible choice because his memory is at the most basic level for functioning. He can't even follow a radio programme never mind converse with anyone about finances.

He is also a bully and intimidating/ verbally threatening my mum when she is trying to take over the financial decisions.

Helenluvsrob Thu 07-Apr-16 16:25:47

Only might be worth speaking to your GP re challenging his mental capacity in a sort of pre planning way

Has he always been a bully to your mum or is this a behavioural change ?

purplevase Mon 18-Apr-16 15:04:38

Why don't you write letters to the utility companies and sign pp? Don't write as you, write as your parents. I have done this with no problems.

Much easier than telephone calls and arguments about PoAs or the lack thereof. When you say the PoA is in their will, what do you mean? I have an old-style enduring power for my father; I'm planning a LPA for my mother and once I've got it I've got it unless she cancels it. So if you parents have created them, can't you just start using them?

It is however true that you may lose control with a PoA. For example, once you register a PoA with Santander they cancel the donor's cards.

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