Any practical tips?

[nonamenopackdrill]

I've posted a thread in the dementia section, and had some great advice from people further down this patch than me. Mum is still living independently (at least for now), but with a failing memory (albeit not necessarily recognising the issue herself) and I am thinking of things that I can put into place that will support her, and make things less stressy for me as well. I was wondering what quick fixes others have put in place that they could recommend? For example something that I have been meaning to do is type up a template shopping list that I can leave with her, and which she then ticks off items which she needs. I can then sort the shopping for/with her rather than her thinking she will remember what she needs, but not actually being able to do so.

[SohowdoIdothis]

My friend has put in a security system at her parent house, not so much for burglaries, but for keeping an eye on mum, it's a simple system with cameras which when it detects movement it sends an alert to your phone, and you can view the cameras on your phone, it has meant that everyone has been more comfortable about extending independents.

Her parents thought it a great idea and feel that they always have someone looking out for them, things like phoning to remind them they have left the stove / gas fire on.

[thesandwich]

A key safe is really useful so someone can get in if needed.

[nonamenopackdrill]

Thanks for your responses SohowdoIdothis and thesandwich.

[Out2pasture]

a white board. today is --, john visited you this -, you have a dr's apt. in --days. I will help you with xyz tomorrow etc etc etc.

sometimes referred to as an orientation board ;)
I assume you have all the hand rails in place?

[Akire]

Does she have your number in her bag/phone ? If something happens when she's out and is distressed maybe she can't remember what bus to get home for example. (guessing further along than she is now) someone can connact you. But more obvious than just your name in her phone.

[Helenluvsrob]

Keysafe definitely.

Is she a " fiddler" . It came too late for my parents but one of the heating things that you control by mobile phone would have been great. They used to arry the control unit about and put it in the pantry if they wanted the heating on! That was OK till dad started hiding it!

I've also seen " find my phone" apps used to track wandering relatives- particularly a very presentable ex miltary chap who would hop on the bus looking as if he as fully in possession of his faculties then not know where the heck he was! He called son who, by the miracle of technology was mostly able to tell him where he was an which bus to get back!

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Date and time clock is invaluable. Agree with keysafe definitely. Place reminders where you know she will look frequently, for example near the kettle.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Does she have any meds? If so consider the delivery of dosette boxes to reduce the risk of over or under dosing.

[nonamenopackdrill]

Thanks all, some really good tips there.

A whiteboard Out2pasture is a very timely suggestion, as it solves a problem I was wrestling with today!

A date and time clock LuisSuarezTeeth is also a simple solution to a problem I have been failing to deal with.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Humour helps too x

[SilverBirchWithout]

Be gentle when conversations repeat or highlight the memory issues. My dear MIL looks so forlorn when she makes mistakes or forgets silly things.

Just best to go with the flow and only correct when it is absolutely necessary.

Where possible keep routines the same, any upheavals or changes take a long while to recover from.

If you haven't done so already, get financial and medical Power of Attorneys in place whilst she is still well enough to give authority. You do not need to use them straight away, but it does enable you to talk to doctors and other medical professionals when necessary. MIL would not easily remember what they had said to her.

[SilverBirchWithout]

Perhaps talk to her about how best to deal with people at the door or on phone trying to sell things. Sadly there are a number of people who prey on the elderly, or even a high pressure sale pitch can convince them to pay for a service they do not need.

Some men repaired MILs roof and we weren't quite sure how much she paid them and some keys were mislaid after their visit so we had to have the locks changed as we were unsure whether they had taken them.

A friend had a system in place with her elderly DF where he would just simply say you will need to speak to my daughter about this and gave callers her number.