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Sharp deterioration - what to do???

(6 Posts)
OrchardDweller Thu 10-Mar-16 17:41:19

Elderly DM has always been very independent and is living in her own house. However in the last month or so she is becoming increasingly unwell and frail. My Dsis and I live at the other end of the country from her so it's impossible to keep popping in or to support her easily. I'm visiting at the moment and we are in discussion about employing someone to help during the day or her moving to a nursing home. The problem is that all the local nursing homes have waiting lists and the one she could possibly get into is a long way from her friends who could pop in to visit (about 50 mins and they are all pretty elderly too).

We talked about all the options and her concerns are that she's not thrilled about going into a home (particularly one so far away from her home of 40 years) but would like the comfort of 24 hour care. She'd stay at home but worried she would find someone around for most of the day slightly irritating (???)

She's really not well and I'm not sure who to turn to for support. Waiting for a call back from her GP for some advice. I can't be here permanently as have family and work commitments so need something in place for the time we are not here.

Help, advice and support greatly received.

Annarose2014 Thu 10-Mar-16 17:45:16

With a sudden deterioration It's always worth checking for an underlying UTI. They can really do a number on the elderly and present with a lot of confusion and disorientation, loss of mobility etc. Rule out an infection before anything.

OrchardDweller Thu 10-Mar-16 17:50:55

It's her heart ... it's not good ...

Needmoresleep Thu 10-Mar-16 21:26:47

Are there any "very sheltered options". 24 hour warden, reception, handynman chance to opt for a cooked lunch etc, but with a level of independence.

My mother would not have tolerated a 24 hour carer, and a relatively who is a GP advised that can be pretty binanry. Some are wonderful, and others awful. Its not the most attractive job. Homes can vary a lot.

thesandwich Thu 10-Mar-16 21:53:02

Does she have a Careline emergency alarm? Age uk have lots of support and ideas. Would a number of carer visits work? Good luck

OrchardDweller Fri 11-Mar-16 00:09:00

Many thanks for your help and advice. She's actually been admitted to hospital for a few days and was looking a bit better when I left. However, we still need to sort something out for when she returns home.

In amongst all the tests the hospital did, one came back that she had a slight UTI ... which was not helping the overall picture.

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