Advanced search
Affected by Dementia? We have a new Talk topic specifically for Dementia, please do pop over and take a look

Visit the Dementia Talk topic

Hand holding please. It's all a bit upsetting today.

(8 Posts)
Helenluvsrob Sun 14-Feb-16 23:19:31

It's a year since mum was dying. This time last year she had almost got her driver up.

Dh has gone to see his parents. I feel lonely and TBH jeaslous. That's mean, but he has his parents in good health. I have a shadow of dad to look after.

My parents fault for having me when they were old I guess !

I can't tell him cos he can't go later in the week as youngest has huge singing commitments in the theatre from tues.

PutDownThatLaptop Sun 14-Feb-16 23:24:37

I understand. I saw a film last night with an elderly person who died and just burst into tears. My dad was dying in January last year.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Sun 14-Feb-16 23:30:06

It was my mums funeral ten years ago today. She wasn't elderly, she was 54. Hugs.

Helenluvsrob Sun 14-Feb-16 23:35:07

Thanks both.
Adorabelle so sorry. Mostly I'm ok as she did have a " good innings etc" and I did my best when she was dying ( posted under my pre hackergate name of theas18). Loosing a parent barely into middle age , too awful.

Putdown. It does just grab you sometimes Hugs.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Sun 14-Feb-16 23:50:18

I look at other people having lovely times with their parents, their kids having fun with their grandparents and I can't lie, I am jealous. I can't help it. My girls don't have that anymore. My dad was a lot older than my mum and he died before her. Then three years ago we lost my lovely DMil, who my girls did know as Nanny and adore, and she them. All we have left now is my Fil who is a depressed narcissist and bloody hard work. Thank god we have some great aunts and uncles so my girls can still have that contact with that generation, and with people who knew their grandparents in a different way.

It's tough at any age. You're still allowed to be bloody angry about it even when they're old. It still hurts.

Be grateful for small mercies I guess. flowers

whataboutbob Tue 16-Feb-16 19:04:32

It is absolutely understandable. My mum died at 54, my Dad is now in a care home with AD. For quite some time i was jealous of DH and his non demented (albeit heavily arthritic) alive parents. I have also thought uncharitable thoughts about colleagues whose parents drop everything to look after kids so they can have "quality time" with their partners. "Hah, just you wait" i think. "I never had a jot of help with mine, I was/ am too busy providing the elderly care and raising them and being a bread winner".
Not nice thoughts, but understandable. Don't beat yourself up. Supporting elderly parents until they leave this world is traumatic, I am sure of that .

Helenluvsrob Tue 16-Feb-16 20:27:02

Well I think tonight's " back in time for the weekend" has been picked for me and my lovely mum. The 1970s. So many lovely memories. Can't wait for them to go camping !

thesandwich Tue 16-Feb-16 21:33:40

flowers Helen.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now