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how to get help for my Dad from social services

(7 Posts)
Oldsu Sun 08-Nov-15 13:15:35

My Dad is very ill, needs a hip replacement and has arthritis, a couple of weeks go my Sister found him a terrible state covered in sores, unkempt and smelling of wee, got the GP and nursing team involved but things are not getting any better.

Last week we spoke to the Adult Social Services team, they didn't go round just phoned him up, we found out later that he had taken a double dose of his pain meds, so when they spoke to him he told them he was fine, was mobile and sounded bright, so ASST told my Sister that there was nothing they could do, 1/2 hour later Dad phoned Sis and said he was in a state and had messed himself and could she go round.

It looks like Dad is lying to the people who can help him as he only wants his family to help him which is my Sister who is 62 with a bad back, I am 200 hundred miles away and can only see him so often.

Obviously as my Dad would be the client the ASST are taking his word over ours.

Dad has no mental health issues, just being bloody stubborn, how can we get SS to override my Dad and get his needs assessed.

RainbowRoses Sun 08-Nov-15 21:59:47

I could not leave your post unanswered.

I don't really know what do suggest, I wonder if age concern could help you more or at least offer you some advice on how to deal with SS.

Would a nursing home be a practical suggestion?

Fairyfuckingprincess Sun 08-Nov-15 22:05:45

Call, call and call again. Whoever is the main carer can request a carers assessment which might help get the in the door and see the full picture.

daffsntulips Sun 08-Nov-15 22:06:47

ring them, explain that you are 200 miles away, your sister is elderly and has her own medical problems, your father is a vulnerable adult and they have a duty of care to support him. tell them that he may resist help and tell them he is OK when he isn't. request an assessment of his needs.

It seems the magic words are VULNERABLE and DUTY OF CARE

then follow the phone call up with an email listing your concerns and what they have said they will do

tbh sometime you get quicker action if you ring out of office hours.there will be a duty social worker who is obliged to follow it up straight away.

good luck, it s a worrying time

IamTheWhoreofBabylon Sun 08-Nov-15 22:17:43

As long as your Dad has capacity they are not able to help without his consent
I wonder if there are any voluntary agencies like age concern who could offer a befriending type service or would he accept carers if it were presented to him in a different way
He may be more willing to accept practical help as a start. You could apply for attendance allowance to fund this and arrange without SS

Oldsu Sun 08-Nov-15 22:50:39

My sister is going to try and see if we can have some sort of case meeting I will take time off work and be there - I know we had a case meeting with my FIL when it was almost a certainty that he would have to go into care, We are hoping the hip operation will give him more mobility so anything might be temporary but he cant go on like he is.

Stubborn old so and so

whataboutbob Mon 09-Nov-15 21:05:58

As others have said there is a general legal principle that people are free to make unwise decisions for themselves, as long as they have capacity, a principle which SS will be putting into practice.
However, it also seems your father is counting on you and your sister to prop him up, no matter what the cost is to yourselves.
From what you describe he is not receiving the care he needs at home, and residential care would be more appropriate. While SS believe you will pick up all the slack they will probably not get involved.Maybe your father has told them you are taking care of everything and so they are not needed?
maybe it's time to ring them them and give a clear picture, letting them know he is a vulnerable adult, take people's names, start keeping a record of who you have spoken to and where important stuff is being discussed follow up with a letter. Ask them what they can do and put some pressure on them. Same with the GP. Good luck, it sounds hard, I've been there with my own Dad and sadly the only way to really get things better was when he has really lost capacity through Alzheimers, i was able to get carers in. Up till then he denied anything was amiss and SS were very hands off.

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