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Care home 'normality'

(8 Posts)
dodgeballqueen Sun 25-Oct-15 10:06:49

Can someone tell me if this is normal or not in a care home?

My mum has been in a care home for the last couple of months and is likely to be there permanently. She has Parkinson's disease and dementia. She is largely confined to a wheelchair. She is in the nursing part of the care home where there are other patients with dementia and other nursing needs.

A few weeks ago one of her friends who visited her said one of the other residents had come into my mums room whilst my mums friend was visiting her.

When I visited my mum last week she complained to me that one f the male residents kept coming into her room. I saw one of the care staff and asked them to make sure that this stopped happening. The care staff just sort of shrugged and said 'well, we'll try'.

Can you let me know if it is accepted in a care home that residents will/can wander into other residents rooms? The doors are always open and I assume this is so the staff can easily look in or hear if a resident needs help.

i am new to all of this so don't know what's reasonable or not.


whataboutbob Sun 25-Oct-15 15:11:02

Hello, I am sure that wandering by residents into other residents' rooms happens a lot. People with dementia can be restless, and walk in, even taking other people's belongings. I saw it go on in the 4 hours my dad lasted in a home, before being asked to leave (that's another story).
The question is how it is managed, in the short time i was there i saw staff move the intruders out systematically. I would suggest it should not just be accepted. I hope others come along with their viewpoints too.
Maybe you could ask to speak to the manager? Make them aware you are not happy about this. Your mum is obviously aware enough to know it 's happening and she doesn't like it, so that suggests the staff should be more proactive in dealing with it.

Doilooklikeatourist Sun 25-Oct-15 15:18:23

My father is in a nursing home ( he can do nothing for himself , not even sit up or speak coherently , so is very vulnerable )
One of the other male residents wanders round , and once even weed in the corner of Dads room
He can't be restrained ( against his human rights ) so now we have a child safety gate on Dads room which means we can visit , but no unwelcome intruders ( and this is a £800 a week place )

Helenluvsrob Sun 25-Oct-15 22:48:36

At dads care home he's in the dementia wing and " visitors" are variable. The lady across the way thought she was married to him at one point! I just distracted her with a "umm but you can't come in now as I heard them saying the kettle was on for tea" He closes his door if he's in and that helps - the really affected ones find door handles tricky I think.

Dad also has a door key for his room on a retractable key ring clipped to his walker. I don't suppose he uses it, but I lock up when we go out. It's made him happier.

There Was a tricky issue with dad moving/fiddling / hiding stuff and forgetting he'd done it and rationalising it in his mind with " people are stealing my stuff" but I think that's passed for the moment.

Melfish Wed 28-Oct-15 22:12:30

DM has just moved in to a dementia unit (she does not have dementia but a brain injury and needs the staffing levels) and I have noticed one of the male residents wandering in. I managed to encourage him out, and on the other occasion staff ushered him out. He seems to hear people chatting and wanders in (the place is quiet otherwise). I have told DM to ring her bell for staff if she has any unwelcome visitors. I like the idea of a safety gate, may need to suggest that if it carries on.

dodgeballqueen Sun 01-Nov-15 12:55:02

Thanks for all the responses. It seems that residents wandering a into other residents rooms is somewhat tolerated. My mum doesn't have the mental or physical capacity to call for help when it happens; a safety gate would be the only means of prevention so thank you for mentioning that.

In this particular case the wandering resident is no longer there after some rather violent incidents involving chairs being thrown etc. I feel so sorry for him and his family. I feel sorry for all of us. Getting old sucks sad

whataboutbob Sun 01-Nov-15 16:17:38

Yes, you are right. It is really sad for the residents who feel intruded upon and their families. Pretty nasty too for the families of those who are doing the behaviour, and their families who are asked to remove them from care homes. The later was my Dad, he was asked to leave after a few hours, and we are managing his behaviour at home with all day carers. I have repeatedly had to remove Dad from various environments, and it's mortifying (although I've hardened myself to an extent).

Melfish Mon 02-Nov-15 23:10:48

I do find it a bit hmm when the staff say they can't stop a known wanderer wandering about. Surely they should keep an eye on where s/he is and be a bit more proactive in asking the resident whose room the wanderer has gone into if they are happy with him/her being there, not just wait for a visitor to turn up and request staff help.

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