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Dad has a new woman

(3 Posts)
Onthescrapheap Mon 10-Aug-15 20:59:02

I'm very worried about my Dad, he's 83 and in advanced heart failure with multiple other health problems. Mum died 4 years ago and he's joined various things and made new friends which is good obviously, but he's recently started a relationship with a woman in her late 60s who is young looking and fit for her age and seems to have been the driving force in getting the relationship off the ground and onto an intimate footing. She has bipolar disorder and has been hospitalised for mania within the last year. He seems to have completely lost perspective and is acting a bit inappropriately, clearly flattered that apparently he's still capable of attracting a much younger woman, yesterday he showed me a photo she's given him ( after he's spent the night with her over the weekend), and she's in a swimsuit! I feel guilty that I'm having such strong negative feelings, I know he has a right to live his life, but it just feels so wrong, and I'm angry with him that even at his advanced age it appears his brains are in his pants. And I'm worried sick she's high and it's all going to go horribly wrong.

bilbodog Mon 10-Aug-15 21:34:43

It must be very difficult to see this happening. We had a slightly worse problem with my mil who was 83 and started having a relationship with someone who was 40 yrs junior! He was out for her money and managed to get away with 50k before we realised what was happening. I'm not suggesting that is happening to yr father but just keep an eye on things from a distance. You are also right to be worried if she has mental health problems as well but I think old people become a bit like teenagers and won't listen to anything we say!!! I hope it t urns out alright in the end - they are probably lonely.

Onthescrapheap Mon 10-Aug-15 22:22:50

It is hard, the money thing is a worry, she has a council flat. He's mentioned her moving in but they've only been an item for a couple of months. I think I'm shocked at his behaviour, he's acting like a randy old goat, I'm finding his attitude to pulling someone he obviously sees as a bit of a corker quite offensive. I think if she chose to give him a swimsuit shot it should have remained a private matter, I can't share his laddish glee and more than that it's out of character, he's never been like this. I can't believe he's being so stupidly susceptible to an ego massage. Lonely I could sympathise with, this is not about companionship I fear.

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