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Elderly parents

Personal hygeine

1 reply

shortscotty · 10/08/2015 17:24

Hello. Currently unofficial carer to FIL. He has a long history of illness and has become progressively more unable disabled. He can walk with frame at home but even after physio is unable/unwilling to try outside so is in a wheelchair. At the risk of sounding insensitive, though he has many genuine medical issues there is also a Boy who cried wolf element to his personality.
I have been washing his hair for the last two years as he said he couldn't put arms above head (then did six months later for the doctor hence BWCW) so I tend to wet his shirt by accident so he has to have a shower and change.
But I don't want to upset his dignity so I have been backing off a bit. Now he has got wise to that and tells me every time he has. Plus he isn't keeping up to washing up, leaving stuff out to smell. The mess and smell doesn't matter I know but I am worried about dementia setting in and the rest of the family are keeping eye on him too.
Long story short, how have you dealt with hygiene problems? I don't know if to ignore it and pretend to believe him (but in this weather that ain't pretty) or force the issue.
Advice apprecicated

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CMOTDibbler · 10/08/2015 21:20

My parents are pretty good about keeping clean (they also have a carer who ensures this on a daily basis), but my grandad was awful for refusing to wash. He didn't have dementia, he was just uninterested and lazy tbh.

It took a rather frank talk about how social services would decide he couldn't cope, and was he going to have a bath by himself or be made to have one?
Later, he chose to have a bath at the day centre as they had a walk in bath, and he didn't have to pay for the hot water!

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