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When do I start worrying about FIL

(1 Post)
samsonagonistes Sun 07-Jun-15 16:55:48

We went to see DH's father last weekend. He's 82, but mostly copes very well on his own. But there are a couple of things causing me concern about the situation, and I don't know how much I should worry. I think I am hyper-aware of some of this, because my mother, who has now died, did not look after herself very well. Also DH and his sister both live a 150+ miles away so can't pop in that often.

The main thing is his mobility. He has had both hips replaced and one knee and he is slow, and uses a stick to walk. But he has only one phone in the house and still goes up and down the stairs. I am terrified about what happens if he has a fall, as I don't think anyone would know for ages. I think needs an emergency call button, but I don't think he'll have one (the irony is that my step-mother, who still goes for 8 mile walks and leaps around like a chamois goat on the mountains, wears one round her neck all the time).

The other is the cooking. While we were there he managed to incinerate some croissants, and significantly undercook a ready meal. In both cases I think this happened because he was using the top oven, because I don't think he's able to bend enough to use the lower one. What particularly alarmed me was that he refused to have the tepid meal re-heated in the microwave (as DH and I did) but just ate it. What this suggests to me is that he is coping less well but just putting up with it. But I don't know - my mother was particularly bad at keeping food properly and kept getting stomach bugs so I am hyper-aware of this in particular.

So, how much to I push DH and his sister on some or any of this? Or is there anything sensible I can suggest. I was wondering about an OT assessment, if they can persuade his dad to go for it but are there any other thoughts?

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