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She can't eat, move or speak. Don't know what to do next

(11 Posts)
Hedgehead Thu 20-Feb-14 22:50:09

My Grandmother has had a severe stroke, leaving her incontinent, unable to speak, unable to move and unable to eat except through a nasal feeding tube. She has been in hospital for three weeks and there has been no improvement. They are now saying that they can do nothing more for her and she needs to leave hospital and go into a home that can care for her 24/7.

She has no liquid money of her own apart from a house that is worth about £90K or a little less. The house next door to her has been on the market for 3 years with no sale (it is a very rough area with frequent robberies and crimes), so even if we were to put her house up for sale, I doubt we would get it sold in time to pay for this round-the-lock care.

What are our options? Has anyone experienced this before?

She has made it clear to us that if she was ever in this state she would not want to be alive anymore. But obviously now we are in this position, we do not know what the options are.

Thank you for reading.

pudcat Thu 20-Feb-14 23:22:35

Have a look on the Age uk web site. There are guides to download to tell you what to do. Your Gran needs an assessment to see if she is eligible for any help and what care she needs Social services have lists of homes.

Hedgehead Thu 20-Feb-14 23:27:54

Thank you pudcat, I will have a look there...

MrsKent Thu 20-Feb-14 23:42:46

I understand she is still in hospital? A social worker will speak to you when discharge is being planned to make sure there is a plan in place and to help with any info you need. Ask to speak to them if they haven't approached you yet.

WynkenBlynkenandNod Fri 21-Feb-14 07:55:39

My Mother ran out of money other than her house. Our Local Authority do something called a 12 week disregard where they assess as if you don't have the house for 12 weeks. After that they offer an interest free loan with a charge against the house until it is sold.

However in your Grandmother's case i think she might be eligible for NHS continuing care where fees are paid regardless of assets. From what I!ve read this is hard to get so someone like Age UK would definitely be worth talking to so they could advise you properly.

Really sorry you are going through this flowers

Hedgehead Fri 21-Feb-14 11:22:34

Thanks very much Wynken that is REALLY helpful.

MrsKent she is still in hospital, but they are now asking us to sort out a plan for when she needs to leave, which they have insinuated will be soon...

Fayrazzled Fri 21-Feb-14 11:45:31

I think it is arguable the NHS should be funding your grandmother's care and it sounds like she needs medical care in a nursing home rather than personal care in a care home However, the NHS (via the local commissioning group) will do anything it can to get out of paying the costs. Do not give up at the first rejection from them! My Dad has been going through this over the last 18 months on behalf of his great aunt and is appealing their decision but funnily enough it is taking months and months to get them to respond. Dad has done loads of research and is not willing to let it go- I suspect most people don't have the fight in them.

Age UK has lots of information and helplines where you can speak to real people as another poster has said.

The hospital should have a social worker you can speak to to help arrange discharge. Unfortunately, my experience with my own mum is that they will promise you the world to get you out of the hospital but there is not necessarily the help and support forthcoming subsequently. Social services is under-funded and you will have to be prepared to roll up your sleeves and nag them and nag them to get what you need for your grandmother. The way this country treats its old people is a disgrace. I'm sorry to be negative but good luck and keep posting for advice if you need it. And don't give up or automatically believe what you are told.

MrsKent Fri 21-Feb-14 15:33:39

If you feel unable to organise a plan let them know, they have a duty towards carers of vulnerable adults with complex needs and must help you with transition I to the community.

CMOTDibbler Fri 21-Feb-14 17:52:52

You need to get hold of the hospital social worker and ask them about discharge planning for your GM. Alas, while she is in hospital, you are in the strongest position in terms of getting care sorted.

AgeUK have great advice on continuing healthcare funding and residential care.

If you have a local carers centre, they will be able to help you work your way through the maze of funding streams and your GMs rights

motherinferior Fri 21-Feb-14 17:55:34

THis lot may be useful too.

oskybosky4 Mon 24-Feb-14 21:05:57

My mum got NHS continuing care and we were told we would not have to pay anything. the hospital social worker came to see mum in the ward while my sister and I were there. The next day a lady from some care group rang up and spoke to me about homes that had places in our area, there was only one that could take mum straight away but I asked her about one we had been to see previously. The lady was very helpful and said she would try this one and she rang us back soon after to say there was a nursing bed available in this home and mum could go the next day. She was given a rapid discharge from the hospital so everything happened very quickly.

Very sadly mum was only 8 hours in the home when she passed away, but I cannot fault the social worker or the care group lady who did their very best for mum.

It sounds very much like your grandmother will need NHS continuing care as she will not be able to do anything for herself. Ask to see the Hospital social worker, if the hospital are wanting her to move its probably because they are unable to do anything more for her in the way of medical treatment, so ask about the rapid dishcharge as well. If there was any chance of her improving they may be able to send her to a rehabilitation hospital instead. Ask about this as well.

You get the opportunity see the homes with places available so don't feel you have to take the first one offered even if you have to wait for a place in a home you prefer.

There are no costs to yourself or your grandmother with NHS Continuing Care, the NHS pay all the costs.

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