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Elderly dad, bad back, in agony, pain relief nightmare.

(6 Posts)
treaclesoda Wed 19-Feb-14 08:26:21

My dad is in agony, can only walk with walking sticks, crying out with the pain, can't get his shoes on etc. My mum (80 years old herself) is having to help him up and down, to toilet etc. He is, understandably, quite down about it.

OTC painkillers aren't touching the pain but the thing is, when he got to speak to his gp (phone consultation, as no appointment available) he immediately went into 'oh, it's not that bad' mode (I was there, heard it all). He doesn't want to make a fuss, doesn't want gp to think he is wasting her time, a malingerer etc. She asked him to put on an appointment so that she can see him in person, but he won't even do that, thinks speaking to her is enough hmm

I am banging my head against a brick wall with him, trying to explain that telling the dr the true extent of your symptoms is very different from 'moaning' and if anything by downplaying it he is wasting her time by not letting her have all the facts. No complaints about gp at all btw, she is lovely, and attentive, but she can hardly help if he won't tell her what's wrong!

How can I help when he won't help himself? It's so frustrating.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Wed 19-Feb-14 08:29:12

The gp may be happy to do a home visit if you ring and explain the situation to her?

MistletoeBUTNOwine Wed 19-Feb-14 08:30:59

The gp may be happy to do a home visit if you ring and explain the situation to her?

tharsheblows Wed 19-Feb-14 08:52:37

Oh I don't know how to deal with it but massive sympathy from me. I am not near mine (live in a different country) and it frustrates me to tears when this happens.

I guess I'd try to contact the GP myself. I haven't done that with my dad because his doctor is part of the problem.

WandaDoff Wed 19-Feb-14 08:56:45

Contact the GP yourself.

She isn't allowed to discuss your Dad with you, but that doesn't mean that you can't tell her what he is doing. She needs to know all the facts to treat him effectively.

miggygreene Mon 31-Mar-14 09:21:55

He needs to open up, on the agony and pain he is feeling right now. So that you will be able to tell the doctor about it. I hope he will tell the truth. I also don't understand why he doesn't want to voice it out. But don't lose hope you still have the chance to convince him.

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