Advanced search
Affected by Dementia? We have a new Talk topic specifically for Dementia, please do pop over and take a look

Visit the Dementia Talk topic

what to do with elderly mum on her birthday, suggestions appreciated

(16 Posts)
ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 09:12:10

hi, my mum has her birthday comig up soon, and I have a feeling it'll be her last

I have 2 ds's who fight all the bloody time

would need to do something with them all together, no other family to take them, or her!

she is in a wheelchair, they run like the wind

posh restauartts are a nightmare

I cant lift her wheelchair into car


ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 09:14:50

also any suggestions for a preset would be great, she has plenty of slippers, clothes, nighties, bought her perfume recently, will get ice M&S flowers anyway

ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 09:43:32


CMOTDibbler Tue 31-Jul-12 09:51:07

Tricky one - how old are the boys ? My mum is best in a non posh restaurant, so we take them to one that is a bit better than where they might go, but wouldn't take themselves to. That suits ds too. Any chance of a friend having the boys for a couple of hours ? Wheelchair accessible taxi to go out ?

My dads fave pressie of recent times was an assortment of cheesecake slices that were delivered frozen - gave him a lot of pleasure to have a big treat in the freezer

ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 11:04:53

wow, love the cheesecake, wouldnt mind that myself!!

boys 11 and 13, youngest winds eldest up and eldest bites (not literally!)

CMOTDibbler Tue 31-Jul-12 11:12:56

At 11 and 13, they are quite old enough for a stern talk that it is gms birthday, you want it to be a treat for her, and any bad behaviour will result in no electronics for a week, good behaviour means a trip to the cinema (or whatever). 13 yr old could lift wheelchair into car ?

babyboomersrock Tue 31-Jul-12 11:24:10

Yes, I agree that your boys are old enough to help, rather than add to your work. Would they be willing to put the wheelchair into the car, as the previous poster suggests? Can't you enlist their help with her birthday treat, and use it as an opportunity to encourage more mature behaviour from them?

Depending on weather, and whether you can get the boys to help, might she just enjoy a trip to the park, or the countryside? Or the beach, if you can get there? You could take a picnic.

I'd also suggest cinema or a concert, but perhaps it would be difficult to accommodate her and your boys' tastes.

marriednotdead Tue 31-Jul-12 11:26:54

Could you do her a posh afternoon tea at home? Dainty sandwiches, little cakes on a stand, that kind of thing. And get together a collection of old photos to go through so she can reminisce.

If she's that fragile, she'd probably really appreciate not having to go anywhere to enjoy her day.

Is it possible to leave the eldest at home- I've always found a single child is less trouble...

charl0tteBronteSaurus Tue 31-Jul-12 11:31:05

are you anywhere near where she grew up?
we recently took DH's grandfather for a pub lunch at the place where he had his wedding reception in 1950, and hadn't been to since, and then for a little drive around some of his old haunts. He seemed to really enjoy it.

ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 11:57:03

tea at home might be a good idea, she isn't too well at the moment

my kids are great they do help and love their gran, but the combination of the 3 of them is a nightmare, for me

sassytheFIRST Tue 31-Jul-12 11:59:47

Why not get all the boxes of family photos, a couple of albums and spend some time looking at them and putting them into albums together. Borrow/buy a portable DVD player for the DSs and bribe them.

ssd Tue 31-Jul-12 12:10:00

too much of a big deal upsets her, I don't want to go through old photos she gets upset

thanks though, I see where you're coming from

No good ideas but lots of sympathy. We go for lots of flowers and house plants.

twentyten Wed 01-Aug-12 21:17:56

What about a garden centre? My dm loves them- colourful and space for wheelchairs. Can you get a taxi to take you? Photos of the dc's in a frame?
Baskets full of treats for presses- lots of small treats wrapped in a basket- smellies,choc bars,scarf etc? Hope it helps

ssd Thu 02-Aug-12 09:42:41

the garden centre is a food idea, she loves those

funny thing is, the basket idea is something I do every Xmas for her -grin

ssd Thu 02-Aug-12 09:43:20

blush good idea not food!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now