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I hate threads where parent think their children should get better results than they did........but she should have!!

(24 Posts)
Katymac Mon 29-Mar-10 22:49:56

DD has a lot of problems atm - I mean, she is barely functioning at school

But we got some mid-term (mid-year?) results today & she is kinda holding her own. Lots of maintaining where she was, a few surprises (3 points higher in an oral test than her previous written one) & one real shock

DD dances, competitively, she walks better than most people dance - ballroom, latin, disco, ballet, modern, contemporary, salsa, line - nothing he has tried she didn't look good at (this isn't just my opinion btw)

& in Dance she got the lowest mark she has ever had and "unsatisfactory" for her progress

I am open mouthed, shocked is not the word for it

So do I approach the dance teacher (whose name is not on the parent's evening list) to discuss it or do I concentrate on her other (fairly major) problems?

nickschick Mon 29-Mar-10 22:52:58

I think for now just leave it Katy - you have enough on your plate and you certainly cant afford ill health yourself,so just let it go the teachers a fool we all know your dd dances beautifully and so what if she didnt? you can either dance or you cant - its not like maths whereby you need it to survive- mention it at parents evening and watch the teacher squirmgrin.

How is dd today?

nickschick Mon 29-Mar-10 22:54:02

oh u cant mention it at parents evening?? perhaps ask the head of year to inquire on your behalf?

abride Mon 29-Mar-10 22:54:13

Sounds like they've mixed her up with another child to me. This happens--quite a lot.

Katymac Mon 29-Mar-10 22:54:44

devastated by her dance mark.....but OKish

thisisyesterday Mon 29-Mar-10 22:54:48

leave it, concentrate on what's going on now

nickschick Mon 29-Mar-10 22:55:54

Tell her from me the teachers a fool and probably has webbed feet smileand bunions.

Katymac Mon 29-Mar-10 22:59:45

It's stupid isn't it - with all the crap that is going on, I want to go out to bat to find out what is going n with a dance mark

How bizarre

senua Tue 30-Mar-10 08:29:05

Perhaps you should mention it.

I don't know your back-story but you mention that DD has some 'fairly major' problems' and is 'barely functioning'. However, your DD is good at dance (and even I, who doesn't know you that well, know this is true) but the teachers have down-graded her in that, her best subject. So she's not going to take the rest of the comments seriously, is she? She can say to you that they are all fools who don't know her properly and this will enable her to brush off the other, valid comments.

Stick up for her so she has got something positive going for her at school. Maybe dance could be the 'hook' to get her to buck up the rest of her schoolwork e.g. if school want DS want to do/stop doing something, they just have to threaten to drop him from the team and it works a treat and he behaves himself again. Mention it to form teacher / mentor?

cory Tue 30-Mar-10 08:39:37

senua, katymac's dd is going through a period of almost blindness (possibly conversion disorder, but physical cause cannot be 100% ruled out)- so it's not her behaviour that is the problem, but the stress resulting from the fact that she cannot see

Katymac, I know this feels like the straw that breaks the camel's back; try to talk to your dd, explain that a mistake may well have been made, that this is a shit time for her, but that shit times come to an end and that this does not mean a judgment on her dancing forever; there will be more chances; and even great professional performers go through bad times

Katymac Tue 30-Mar-10 09:12:45

Thanks Senua & Cory

I think I am struggling to judge what is normal/appropriate atm

roisin Tue 30-Mar-10 11:14:24

I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this. Try not to stress about it KM.

Maybe she was absent for the preparation lessons or the evaluation? IME marks for dance at secondary school don't relate very closely to the child's ability to dance. I know that sounds completely bonkers, but that's how it is. ds1 is the least co-ordinated person on the planet, but gets 'reasonable' marks for dance, because of the accompanying written work he does and the marks that come from planning and analysing dance and evaluating his own and other's performance.

btw I am not saying this is in any way fair, or just, or reasonable!

Katymac Tue 30-Mar-10 18:04:14

Something else to 'not stress about'

I think I am at the edge of my 'not stressing' but I do know what you mean

I'm not even sure who to ring to ask


senua Tue 30-Mar-10 18:26:23

I'm realy sorry, KM.blush. I'm so glad I put in that little caveat about not knowing your backstory.blushblush

IME, parents' evenings are not the best place to hold serious discussions anyway - they are only good for "little johnny is doing nicely but should concentrate on his handwriting" type conversations.

If you do want to resolve this then ask for a non-parents-evening appointment with the dance treacher or DD's pastoral teacher. It doesn't have to be a face-to-face contact, you could just speak on the phone.

nickschick Tue 30-Mar-10 19:53:23

Id ring school up speak to the head of year voice your concern and ask her in light of everything else you have going on at home to investigate,she may come back with an acceptable version of events or she may just apologise for a mix up - the last thing you need Katie is to fall apart discussing this with the actual teacher.

Katymac Tue 30-Mar-10 20:43:53

S'OK senua - I knew you didn't know

The more I think about it the less I need to speak to the teacher myself

But I can ask someone else to

abride Wed 31-Mar-10 13:06:45

I think you should get someone to do it. It's very disincentivising for your daughter and she needs a boost, doesn't she?

I know a boy who received a poor mark for his PE, despite being a great footballer and athlete. He was sad but it was just a boo-boo. Easily done, when teachers have so many reports to complete and so many pupils.

troublewithtalk Mon 05-Apr-10 17:26:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddy68 Wed 07-Apr-10 19:53:35

I reckon that the mark could be correct as as someone previously stated the levels will not just be on the ability to dance, but the way they work as a team, the planning of set pieces, the written application etc

of course this could also be a mistake but the only way you will find out is to ask the teacher.

maddy68 Tue 27-Sep-11 14:27:34

I teach IT and sometimes parents are amazed that their child didnt get a good mark in IT as they are always on the computer!
perhaps what tehy are assessing is the theory rather than the practical!

KatyMac Tue 27-Sep-11 14:34:23

Goodness a 2.5 year old thread has been bumped - how odd, never mind.

It's just in time for the fabulous news that DD got a fully funded place at Ballet school this September.

The teacher admitted she was wrong and the mark was based on expectation due to her additional needs at the time rather than her progress; which was fine.

TipOfTheSlung Tue 27-Sep-11 14:40:35

Glad I checked to see why this had been revived.

Well done miniMac

zipzap Tue 27-Sep-11 14:57:28

I was going to say (bit redundant now) that maybe if your dd was very good at dance then the teacher would expect a lot more of her and more progress from her than she would of someone who had a couple of left feet which kind of sounds a bit like what happened.

For example I remember having a fab maths teacher but come exam time she was just as likely to tell you off for getting 98% (on the basis that if you can get that much you probably lost marks for being careless, lazy or not thinking properly) whereas be thrilled for someone who really struggled with maths but had tried really hard and got 51%.

KatyMac Tue 27-Sep-11 15:16:52


No, she had asked her to do less and thought that was all she could achieve

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