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Educational Psychologist for my DD?

(24 Posts)
katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 13:31:27

This has been suggested by some people (friends - mums of other children). You may know that DD has had some problems there are some (lots) of threads
here
here
here
& here

Now other people say this is just overreacting - but as you can tell I'm very concerned

Do I need to "take a chill pill" as one friend says or as another says "you can't solve the problem unless you know what it is" or should I leave it alone and see what September brings?

BTW - I'd pay privately - not wait for a referral

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 14:02:54

DD2 has been in a similar situation re:bullies & it's very difficult to know when to kick up a big stink & when to go low key. Not sure whether I can offer any advice, as I'm also trying to decide the same thing. Shes bumping along in the middle/bottom of the class but scores 133 on nvr test (top of the scale). We have decided to leave it until Sept when she gets her new teacher, but to make an appointment early to discuss our 'issues' and see if they are addressed. We may follow this up with a letter to the head. School policy is that is anything is in writing it has to be followed up. We may decide on EP if we feel we are not getting anywhere (may just decide to move her, but generally v good school & dd1 v happy). So - no real advise, just lots of sympathy.
Your dd sounds like a real star btw

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 16:00:19

Thanks Berries - appreciate the advise

DD has the same teacher next year (& the year after) - so I'm not sure September will be a miracle cure.....
Good luck with your DD2

btw whats a NVR test?

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 17:37:33

BVR is non-verbal reasoning test. Near as I can gather, it should be a good indication of intelligence, and shows whether a child is underperforming. Scores given were in range 95-105 = avg, 105-114 = good avg, 115+ is above avg. Therefore 133 is good, sats scores were 3bs & 3cs (she's in yr3) which is avg for her yr. I think this shows that she is underperforming, but as yet no-one has come up with a way to address this. I know the teacher she has next year, and like her so am hoping she can work miracles!

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 17:38:13

Should have been NVR obviously

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 17:41:28

Can I access these tests on-line?

DD's Sats were 2a & 3 (Yr2) - so I'm quite pleased with that - I just need her happier

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 17:58:40

not sure whether you can access them on-line. DDs school runs them at the end of yr1/3/6. Your dd did really well in the sats, but if she is having problems with friends I bet it will have affected her school work. If you get any great ideas please let me know - I also want dd2 to be happier, she's a real contrast to dd1

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 18:08:45

Maybe some children just aren't happy - at the moment I'd settle for content or even not unhappy (iyswim)

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 18:16:42

There's definately an element of that, I have always said that dd1s glass is half full and dd2s is half empty. She doesn't have the social skills of her elder sister, but there is a definite difference in the behaviour of the girls in both years (yr3 & yr4). DD2s yr has a number of very manipulative girls, and theres frequently problems with - 'x wouldnt let anyone play with me because I had the wrong coloured bobbles' - FFS. Probably if her social skills were better developed she may have been able to cope with it, but she's one of the youngest in the year & I think it shows. She doesn't have a problem with girls in groups outside school BTW, so although she's on the pessimistic side I think most of the problems are caused by others.

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 20:09:55

It's very difficult to decide if i am imposng my problems on her

I don't know I'm so confused

Berries Fri 22-Jul-05 20:21:43

No consolation, but I know what you mean. 2 weeks ago I got as far as looking for new schools, but it's such a big change & things are going ok now (cynical side of me suggests that the fact its her birthday party in 3 days may be why everyones being nice now)
I do spend quite a long time trying to get her to understand why people are being mean - eg one of the girls has got problems at home at the mo. Try to explain that she is feeling generally unhappy & taking it out on dd2 (without going into details with her as its confidential). I hope that she will realise that the problems aren't with her, they're with the other girls. Not sure its working though.

singersgirl Fri 22-Jul-05 20:37:45

No real advice, but I'm also pondering whether it's worth it for DS1. He, like your daughter, KatyMac, got 2as and 3s in SATS, but I'm sure he's underperforming - his teacher says he is constantly distracted and most of his maths worksheets are three-quarters empty - he just doesn't finish anything. He's also VERY active and bouncy. So there's some ADHD stuff going on possibly, but as he's coping so well it doesn't seem a problem to the school yet. DH thinks he is just a normal not yet 7 year old, but I worry that he's not really making progress.
I would definitely consider an Ed Psych since your DD is unhappy, but then would 'testing' make her feel still more 'out of the ordinary', as if something was wrong? That worries me about DS1. Let us know what you decide! And have a good summer!

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 22:01:54

Would it be testing as such - or would s/he try to understand my DD?

In a way it's reassuring that I'm not the only Mum struggling.
There is something wrong but I can't put my finger on what it is....

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:06:06

katymac, I found the EdPsych who saw ds1 very nice but didn't appear to get things right. ON a personal level she seemed to "get" ds1's personality better than some of his teachers had but she thought he was dyspraxic, which he wasn't and that his reading was average when in fact he was 2 or 3 years ahead. We find that ds is very bright but doesn't necessarily perform well in certain tests and they give a false impression of what he's like. Where she did come throught was referring him to an OT who found that he had low muscle tone, therefore inclined to slouch and lose concentration and that he was very distractible by sounds in the classroom, accounting for his many "absences" from his surroundings! TBH the improvements he has made seem to be more down to his own development rather than anything the EdPsych did, he is now finishing work and is beginning to "tune in" a lot better, but I sometimes think we would have been better leaving well enough alone!

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 23:11:22

Thanks Chipmonkey - It's interesting to read how it "ended" for your DS.

I am finding it difficult to decide what top do for best....whether to wait and see or to take action.

I accept that what you are saying is that The EdPsych is not the answer to everything.....but what (who) is?

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 23:15:53

I have wondered about getting a teacher (from a different school) to spend some time with her to sort of "see" where she is and to chat with her a bit......maybe?

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:16:01

Katymac, if only I knew! Have to say, I'm beginning to suspect its going to have to be me, cos no one else knows ds so well!

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 23:16:50

How old is he?

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:24:08

I have found that a special needs assistant who is assigned to another child in ds's class has been fabulous. Because she was assigned to this classmate she has been is the classroom with ds for 2 years and has gotten to know ds very well through having to stand over him a lot to make him work! In fact she has spent far more time with ds than with the other child because while he needs some help, he will work alone while ds goes off to Laalaaland. She has given suggestions as to what we need for ds.

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:24:40

He's 8, almost 9.

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 23:25:45

How lovely - DD's classroom assistant is nice but keeps saying well she's only a little girl (quite what that means I don't know) and I get so frustrated

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:26:45

Unfortunately, It has been hinted that this lady may no longer be available next year and there is no way ds would qualify for an SNA of his own.

chipmonkey Fri 22-Jul-05 23:30:37

Just looking at your other threads, Katymac, ds was bullied 2 years ago. It really does knock their confidence. Thankfully he has come on brilliantly since but we did move him into a different class away from the main culprit.

katymac Fri 22-Jul-05 23:36:55

Hope your DS has come on enough that the assistant won't be necessary...I hope he is

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