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Kids changing their minds

(4 Posts)
sunnydelight Wed 13-Jul-05 20:34:54

DS2 started at a new school recently and I was pleased when he made a new friend quite quickly. We invited the boy for tea, then my son went to his house, and the other child was due to come to ours today. I bumped into his mum yesterday and checked that it was still on and she said yes. DS was really looking forward to it, but when we went into school this morning we met the other boy's mum in the corridor and she said "oh, x has changed his mind, he doesn't want to come to tea". She went on to say that he wanted to play with some other children instead. There was no hint of an apology, or any acknowledgement that my son might be upset by this; DS is only 6 and of course burst into tears as soon as the other mum had walked away. Obviously if the child really didn't want to come you can't force the issue, but I know that I don't let my kids change their minds if they have committed themselves to something if "something better comes up". I explained long ago that you don't hurt people's feelings. Personally I think it's just a case of good manners, am I being unreasonable?

spidermama Wed 13-Jul-05 20:38:20

I agree sunnyd. They learn social codes from us. Your poor ds. Make sure the next one is a better friend.

Posey Wed 13-Jul-05 20:42:33

My friend's daughter had this, except she was the one who didn't want to go. She was tired, a bit fed up really and just didn't fancy it, but meant no offence to her friend. So my friend just said to the other mum, really sorry, x is feeling a bit off colour, a bit clingy, just wants to be at home at the mo, but lets rearrange when she's less tired.
Far nicer way of putting it and her little friend didn't feel snubbed.

Ags Wed 13-Jul-05 20:54:39

I have a little ds and it breaks my heart when I hear these type of stories. How can another parent be so unthinking towards a child. It beggars belief.

My friend had a heartbroken daughter today when she wasn't invited to a birthday party of a girl in her class who she plays with a lot. My friend found it so hard to comfort her as what can you say?

I am sorry for your ds and hope that he is not too hurt. Also hope he finds a more deserving friend to play with.

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