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Am I a savage if I don't buy my DS's teacher an end of year present? Or am I a creep if I do?

(27 Posts)
Caligula Wed 13-Jul-05 10:18:53

What's the etiquette? I didn't last year but some people did, and then I thought maybe I should have done.

Got a week to decide!

swiperfox Wed 13-Jul-05 10:21:59

I think most people do now. I noticed that when my sister was at school - they were forever taking in little cards and presents!! Most of the card shops do 'teacher' cards and gifts now.

When i was at school if you had given a teacher a present you'd have never lived it down!!!

kid Wed 13-Jul-05 10:22:07

If you like her then I would. Don't feel that you have to just because others do.

I do buy for DD's teacher, only because she is lovely and has done a great job with DD this year.

Marina Wed 13-Jul-05 10:27:18

Neither! I think it should be up to you and ds to decide whether you feel he and she have got along well enough this year to make it appropriate.
How old is he caligula? It's just that after year 1 I suspect there might be a certain amount of annoying "We got Miss Boggis a Dolce et Gabbana bag" stuff. We had a hugely bling family in ds' reception class, and while the rest of us toddled in with amaryllises in child-painted pots etc, she swept up with a billiard-table sized Molton Brown bag...
Or you could suggest to the other parents that you club together to buy the teacher a joint gift. We do that now

fishfinger Wed 13-Jul-05 10:29:41

I walways do
as an ex teacher I knwo its GOOD IDEA

Angeliz Wed 13-Jul-05 10:33:41

as an X teacher, what's the best gift then?
(we have all clubbed together so they can go out for a drink but dd has about 3 teachers she'd like to get a little something for!!!)

fishfinger Wed 13-Jul-05 10:34:10

mind you ds1s doesn drink or eat sweets so she is getting an express manicure

Carla Wed 13-Jul-05 10:36:14

DD2 is having the same teacher next year - what's the etiquette there, then, folks?

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 10:38:24

Does DD2 like her, Carla? Have you been happy with her as a teacher? If so get her a pres - if not, not (I don't think she'll keep a little list of who didn't...)

kid Wed 13-Jul-05 10:38:32

My dd is having the same teacher next year too. I was still going to buy hwer something this year, no idea what yet. I know I'd better get my thinking cap on!

Caligula Wed 13-Jul-05 10:47:47

He's in year 1 (he's six). She's been OK, perfectly normal, no mad teacher-rages, no unreasonable pettiness - just a perfectly normal nice person. (Is that unusual? )

Think I might get her one, but don't know what to buy - maximum spend would be about a fiver. But I'm a bit surprised by the booze thing - isn't it a bit inappropriate for a child to be carrying a bottle of wine in his school bag? (I think it would be OK, but I'm surprised schools think it's OK, tbh)

turquoise Wed 13-Jul-05 10:54:58

I forgot this year . World's crappest mother - dd nearly cried and hammered the guilt home with "I was the only one who didn't give a present mummy". At least there were two other failures in ds's class!
Even worse - I'd been planning to ask her teacher's daughter to babysit. Don't think there's much chance now.

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 10:57:06

On previous threads, C, teachers here have said that although eg wine is nice, what they really appreciate and remember is either something the child has made for them - like Marina's "amaryllis in child-painted pot", or a picture or something - or else something which will last (I think YG mentioned a vase?)

(Lots of somethings there!)

spidermama Wed 13-Jul-05 10:58:41

I suppose I'll have to buy something so my ds and dd don't feel left out, but I deeply resent having to spend yet more time on another school thing. I want my kids back. I'm ready for summer and I want school to go away and leave me and my family alone.

Not that I feel particularly strongly either way.

Fennel Wed 13-Jul-05 11:03:09

I really can't see my dds' teachers appreciating home made presents by 3 and 5 year olds. even I throw their efforts away and i am their devoted mother

guess it'll be chocolates for us again then. on my principle that you can never have too much high quality chocolate in life.

Caligula Wed 13-Jul-05 11:08:59

Yes DS's teacher looks like a perfectly nice woman, but she'd have to be a Saint to appreciate a jumble of portraits and "models" done by six year olds, surely? Surely she'd mutter about not having one bloody decent bottle of wine in there among all those empty bog roll tubes?

My DS desperately wants to make soap - he's explained to me that you collect petals, soak the soap, then wrap the petals in the soap and let it dry. The thought of inflicting that on the poor woman "for your bath, Miss" is not attractive. (I think that sort of present must be for the teacher's you've had a run in with, surely?!)

Fennel Wed 13-Jul-05 11:13:09


dd2 sometimes comes home with a special "treat" Bob the bear bag - full of bear, bits of crap, and we have to carry the bag, write a story in the book and find all Bob's belongings to take it back the next day. I am convinced the teachers send us it when we've pissed them off as a punishment.

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 11:17:43

Well I was imagining a mummy-steered decorated ceramic object rather than bogrollinners and cereal packets...and you have to remember that it's a long time since I had an infant artist

Caligula Wed 13-Jul-05 11:21:21

The problem with that, Jan, is the assumption that Mummy is any more competent at model-making than child! I've recently noticed that the models produced by DS which are mummy-steered, are remarkably similar to those which are not!

fishfinger Wed 13-Jul-05 11:27:00

god if i ever return to teachign please save me from kid home made stuff
no mroe crap in my house
I dr atehr do wihtout

fishfinger Wed 13-Jul-05 11:27:37

Janh htink the teachers who wanted that are NICE teachers
but tbh a nice letter is a s good as anything
but no pots

Janh Wed 13-Jul-05 11:43:30

It's looking like wine, then

I've generally given wine for the last few years as long as it's just one teacher - when it's been teacher + classroom helpers + after-school club they've generally got bogoffs of choc or nice bath stuff.

fishfinger Wed 13-Jul-05 11:44:53


SofiaAmes Thu 14-Jul-05 00:45:54

I buy presents for the teachers and carers that I like and nothing for those I don't. (Hey, it's my child and my money and I get to choose.)
I brought embroidered scarves back from nyc for the after school club women for xmas and large chunks of parmesan from italy for them after spring break. I think they think I'm nuts. BUT they adore my ds, so something's going right.
I was one of the only parents who didn't participate in the group present for ds's leaving nursery teacher as I thought she was boring and useless and had some nerve leaving 5 weeks before the end of term!

giraffeski Thu 14-Jul-05 01:07:49

Message withdrawn

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