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(53 Posts)
alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 08:57:52

Opinions needed please.
If a reception teacher has a 'pupil of the week' award for her class of 4 and 5 year olds, should she
a) make sure that every pupil gets to be be it at least once
b)just give it to whoever she wants to, even if it means some children get it 2 or 3 times and some never?

marialuisa Mon 20-Jun-05 09:01:44

DD's nuresry class has "worker of the week" and it is pretty obvious that every child gets it at least once. Seems fair enough to me and doesn't seem to have diminished its kudos in the eyes of the preschoolers!

debs26 Mon 20-Jun-05 09:01:51

in reception, option a. higher up the school option b. but must be according to pupils own standards - a child who normally struggles to behave should be given it for making an effort. i dont think you can expect all kids to be perfectly behaved

handlemecarefully Mon 20-Jun-05 09:05:41

Agree with debs.

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 09:18:59

ok, i also think option a.

DS's teacher however seems to think option b.

therefore every friday ds comes out of school and says something along the lines of' x is pupil of the week today.he's been pupil of the week 2 times.i've never been pupil of the week'
And my heart breaks for him.
3 of his best friends have been pof w- 2 have been it at least twice.
At parents night she told me she has no problems with him, he's well behaved, he works hard- and is in the top group. I don't know what he has to do to get this bloody award.
and what do you say? " you're not good enough darling?"
At first i was saying this like- well if you have a week when you work really hard and you're not silly at all then you might get it.
now i'm saying things like' you're always my boy of the week'
Hate this school business.hate it.and i hate his teacher too but thats another moan.

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 09:22:57

bumping this because i feel like a mad mother and i want to know what others think.

marialuisa Mon 20-Jun-05 09:32:26

Should have added I would be horrified if it was anything other than Option A. TBH I think kids like your DS who are consistently well-behaved and do their work well tend to get overlooked if these things aren't on an informal rota....(not that I'm bitter from when I was 7 years old and my form teacher said "you don't need house points, you always do well")

Am still in shock from conversation with friend whose Y2 DD (and classmates) were made to audition for parts in the class play!

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 09:36:08

i am pretty sure one of his pals got it one week because it was the first week he had not cried going into school. ds has never cried going into school...surely that counts for something???
i'm not saying he's perfect, his main fault is that he gets a bit giddy and silly.but not the worst thing in the world.

mysterygirl Mon 20-Jun-05 09:36:18

my ds's school has this and lower down the school (infants) everyone gets a chance at being star of the week theoretically. However when ds was in years 1 and 2 my friend and I had to remind the teacher our children hadnt had a turn yet! Our Stars of the Week are presented at a good work assembly on a Friday afternoon so the parents get to watch too and quite often it's apparent that either the seriously bright kids are up week after week or the little horrors - middle of the road children get least

aloha Mon 20-Jun-05 09:37:07

well, this particular little 'motivational' trick seems to be doing a great job of demotivating your son. Teacher sounds stupid and insensitive to me. Time for a polite word?
If your son is really upset and behaves well, you could always say something like, "well I think it's a bit silly. You are such a fantastic boy I would give you pupil of the week every week." You could even make him a special badge yourself if he would go for that.

handlemecarefully Mon 20-Jun-05 09:39:31


I think you need to take a deep breath, and then go and discuss this with the reception teacher (eeek! I know it's not easy). Option a isn't appropriate at all for reception class children. Your poor ds.

If you are not happy with the Reception teachers response, escalate it to the head teacher.

handlemecarefully Mon 20-Jun-05 09:40:23

Typo - I meant option b isn't appropriate.

homemama Mon 20-Jun-05 09:41:01

alexsmum, I would have a quiet word. From what you've said it sounds like your DS is one of those quiet, well behaved children who always works hard. This is probably why he hasn't won. From a teacher's point of view, you're always trying to encourage the ones that need to make the effort, trying to bring them up to the standard of children like your DS. I'm not making excuses. She should be keeping track to ensure that her well behaved children are not missing out. Tell her that you think her reward system is working well in terms of motivation but that you are worried that that motivation will wane if he doesn't win soon because he's beginning to wonder whether there is any incentive to always try his best.
She should wholeheartedly agree with you. If not, she's not a good teacher!

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 09:43:37

can't talk to her about it.
shes about 23 and has no children of her own and when i have brought things up in the past..for example when she punished ds in his first week at school, aged 4, for going to the loo without permission,.....she has this attitude, like i am completely overreacting.she actually said to me'this is your first child isn't it?'.
so she has let me know that she thinks i'm fussy and over anxious.just hope her child gets a teacher likes this when he goes(if she has any)

handlemecarefully Mon 20-Jun-05 09:45:33

Then go to the head and by pass her.

aloha Mon 20-Jun-05 09:46:00

Then go to the head. The school needs to know (IMO) that this young and inexperienced teacher is going about things the wrong way.

handlemecarefully Mon 20-Jun-05 09:46:07

She sounds like a lunatic - punishing ds for going to the loo fgs!!!

mysterygirl Mon 20-Jun-05 09:48:06

alexmum - definitely go and see her and be strong and confident. IME the teachers with no kids are definitely the worst (sorry any teachers out there). We have one who tells the children that they should be going to the shops/out and about on their own and simply refuses to see things from a parents' point of view. Go in and explain that her method of reward certainly isnt working for your ds and you wouldnt mind betting some other parents and in your opinion every child is worthy of recognition - Im sure in her training she wouldnt have been told to "always choose the best"!

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 09:48:29

homemama, i can objectively say he's not a quiet child !! but he's not a naughty child either.
he said to my mum last week..'i'm the loudest boy in the class'...wonder where that has come from?
he's also a very kind child. other mums are always telling me that he has comforted their child when they were upset and the teacher has told them about it.never tells me.

Moomin Mon 20-Jun-05 09:51:19

Write a letter to her in a firm but friendly way: say you think the idea is great but you're a bit worried that conscientious 'MOR' kids like your ds may be missing out and you';re worried as he seems a bit demotivated. Handwrite it, then send her one and a copy to the Head 'for his/her records'. Yes, it's a bit sneaky but it may highlight the problem to the Head - s/he may not know about it. One of them will get in touch to discuss it, I would imagine. If they don't arrange to see the Head sometime before the end of the summer term. It may well be too late for your ds then (I presume he'll have another teacher next year) but it will also show that you're not just concerned for your ds; you are thinking about other kids too.

I think back to when I was a NQT and form teacher for Y7, back in the days before I had kids and I could cringe - I didn't know my arse from my elbow when it came to pastoral matters like this. TBH it's not something they can/do teach at college; it's something you learn with experience. Good luck.

homemama Mon 20-Jun-05 09:57:36

As a teacher, I am totally appauled that a reception child, at any point in the year, would be punished for going to the loo without permssion. AND the arrogance of her to ask if he is your first!!!
She is a bad teacher. Teaching (esp. in Rec) is all about pastoral care. Gently encouraging ch into this new, scary environment not making them feel like failures.
Also, Alexsmum, a noisy child does not equate to a naughty child. Give me expression over submission any day.
FWIW, he'll be fine as long as he continues to get your encouragement at home

singersgirl Mon 20-Jun-05 10:02:08

Alexsmum, that sounds so much the wrong way of going about things. In Y1 at DS1's school every child got a Friday award every week for something they had done well that week. And 2 children every week got a special award in assembly. Every child got it at least once, though some got it twice - DS1 got one for "reading with beautiful expression", while another child got it for "trying hard all week to listen to the teacher".
But TBH I used to feel the same way about stickers in Reception. Some kids came out wearing stickers every day and DS1 never seemed to get one. And like you, I'd go to the parents' evening and be told how well he was doing.
You definitely should tackle the teacher or the head on this - though I'm ashamed to say I never got the courage with DS1's Reception teacher.

homemama Mon 20-Jun-05 10:07:57

Moomin, I teach i middle school although I'm primary trained and I know that a large % of the early years teaching in college is on pastoral care for this very reason. A reception teacher's job may not be as academically 'taxing' as a Y6+ teacher's but they need to be highly skilled in dealing with the needs of 4 and 5 year olds.
Alexsmum, Speak to her, give her the chance to rectify the situation, if that doesn't work you must go to the head.

alexsmum Mon 20-Jun-05 12:23:53

i don't know what to do. i think that i should talk to her but really can't bring myself to do it.I've already got weepy in front of her on friday, when she pulled me aside to say that ds1 couldn't go on the eagerly anticipated school trip because he has a broken arm. I can see their point but i had a pig of a week- at the hospital all the time and i had just persuaded a weepy ds to go to school by telling him that he needed to go to school to find out all about the trip( which is today btw) she already thinks i'm pathetic.i just can't believe that in an a whole academic year she hasn't found occasion to give him this award even once when his friends have had it 2 and 3 times.
maybe i could get dh to talk to her.

HappyHuggy Mon 20-Jun-05 12:26:19

My ds is 3 and is head boy at nursey!!!!!!!

(i know its silly but i was so proud)

i think they pick a different on each month but not sure how they go about it cause ds has been headboy twice this year already!!!


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