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7 year old struggling in Juniors.... Teacher doesn't seem all "that" helpful....Advice please

(12 Posts)
Julezboo Wed 04-Nov-09 22:03:38

Hi All,

Brief history, DS1 who is 7yo was born 10 weeks early. Spent his first year or so in and out of hospital on oxygen.

He started in one school from reception (no nursery) His teacher then raised concerns about his abilities, he is clumsy, always falling over, can never sit still for more than a few seconds was behind the rest of his class with reading and writing. In year 1 we had the SEN in, had the report back with no conclusion...

Meanwhile he moved to a bigger and better school, or so I thought. Year 2 he had a different teacher every few months because of maternity leave, pregnancy, or ill teachers and I am very aware that life happens!

Towards the end of year 2 I had a meeting with his headteacher because I was worried about him struggling, she said they would look into getting SEN in for the new term in september and she would meet with his teachers to discuss the concerns so he will get the extra help they can give with so many kids in the class. DS even asked whether he could move to the table that has a teaching assistant on for another girl because she helps the whole table. I asked and this was refused due to it being a different group...

Fast forward to the new term, Year 3, Juniors, I sat down and spoke to him before he started in september and said the teacher might expect a bit more from him now he's a junior. He is a little wary of his teacher who is very strict, which I thought was what he needed!

We are however having trouble in every aspect, leaving his reading books in his drawer, losing his lunch box, drinks bottle, not writing homework down, losing letters, his teacher has in the past few weeks mentioned to the Child minder that he is not doing his work in class whilst the rest of the other children are, he is always losing his pencils and pens ect...

Now since I have lost my job I am trying to get on top of it and today I approached his teacher at home time to ask if he had any homework this week, this is after he had a letter this morning asking for a copy of his spellings as DS said he couldnt write them down.

He sort of shrugged it off and said well maybe his homework book wasn't in his bag, but I am 100% certain it was! He still didnt offer or give me the spellings, said something about a meeting tomorrow, of which I had no knowledge of because of the above where i mentioned letters arent coming home! Same with parents evening, and what made it worse was he seemed annoyed at me for asking.

I spoke to DS tonight who admitted he struggles to remember. We know he finds it hard to concentrate because it quite often takes 3 - 4 hours to do his homework

I plan on making an appt with the head teacher to dicuss my concerns but I came away today in tears because his teacher didn't seem to give a crap and whilst I understand there are 24 other children in his class I don't think it would take long for him to remind them a few times to write it down, or even give them to me, now he had a spelling test tomorrow which he will get all wrong because we have no idea what the bloody words are!

He shrugged me off and said see me at the end of the day tomorrow and I'll see where I can fit you in for parents evening.

Any advice firstly on how I can help DS, I am reminding him every morning to write his spellings and homework down, i check his bag as we leave the school playground every day and send him back if he forgets anything.

It's breaking my heart that he is struggling so much

CarGirl Wed 04-Nov-09 22:10:21

It sounds like he needs assessing etc.

Could he have dyspraxia???

If you think he does INPP can really help him fulfill his potential

Here is some info here

There is a questionnaire on there to fill in which would indicate whether they think the treatment could help.

My dd was treated for something different but it really worked and we saw improvements within a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry that the school haven't picked up on his difficulties much sooner, not very good really.

Legacy Wed 04-Nov-09 22:15:28

Julez - I'm so sorry you are going through this sad. I'm sure you know that this just isn't right - you and your son are not getting the support you need!

I'm afraid there is nothing for it except for you to 'take the bull by the horns' and demand better support for your son.

Some of the things like forgetting stuff is quite normal in the first term of Juniors to be honest (I've had two boys go through it!) but if you son is spending an 3 + hours doing homework shock then he clearly needs different/ better/ some support from the school.

I know he seems crap, but I think you need to sort things out with the teacher first. Insist on an appointment. Explain that you are worried about your son. List the things that concern you most - e.g homework etc. Find out what he has/ hasn't been doing & bringing home. Ask the teacher to agree a joint 'action plan' between you. Ask for regular (weekly/fortnightly?) reviews.

See how that goes, and if that doesn't work then go to the Head?

Julezboo Wed 04-Nov-09 22:18:21

Thank you cargirl. I have filled out the questionaire I ticked nearly all of them

Julezboo Wed 04-Nov-09 22:19:32

Legacy, I have a meeting with the teacher tomorrow and parents evening next week. Hoping for a later time so I can have some support from DH though.

foxinsocks Wed 04-Nov-09 22:22:36

poor boy

I don't know what to suggest other than what others have already said but I know what it feels like when your child is struggling at school so big hugs to you and I hope you soon have a plan in place to help him

foxinsocks Wed 04-Nov-09 22:23:49

I meant plan via the school, not you on your own

also ask the teacher if the school has a Senco (special educational needs co-ordinator I think it stands for) - they should be more clued up than the teacher

CarGirl Wed 04-Nov-09 22:26:26

Julezboo please pursue it as a mean of "treatment" it's just about getting the brain & reflexes at the same (and correct age) development stage. So instead of constantly working in conflict they work alongside each other.

DD went for too much adrenalin (didn't need sleep, never relaxed, never sat still) and had delayed gross motor skills - her running was something to be witnessed it looked like a toddler who had just learnt to walk. Within a couple of weeks of starting she whizzed past dh and I at a soft play centre and we just turned and looked at each other in disbelief.

DH was the biggest sceptic, he isn't anymore.

Yes absolutely pursue everything with the school. INPP is only one organisation that trains practioners there are other ones doing similar things. Where do you live, the practioner I saw works from Windsor, Petersfield and bizarrely Glasgow.

Julezboo Thu 05-Nov-09 09:43:01

I'm not far from Cardiff cargirl. Maybe different in Wales. I will be making an appt with the GP today as well.

My meeting is at 2:40 today so will update when I come back x

CarGirl Thu 05-Nov-09 12:46:02

It all has to be done privately anyway I wonder if this charity can help you find a local practioner, INPP is only one programme/way of doing this, there are a few others

Julezboo Fri 06-Nov-09 10:59:03

Thank you cargirl,

ell the meeting yesterday I didn't really get much out of but before I went in I made an appt with the head teacher and met with her this morning.

She was annoyed that his teacher doesn't seem to be actually doing anything and the special needs co-ordinator is going to meet with DS today and he had been referred to the educational Physcologist and will be seen in January (!)

She was very good and actually listened to me, explained that it is a big step from infants to juniors which I agreed with and the reason why I have left it till after half term to approach them again. I explained how he hasnt written his homework down for 4 weeks which has in turn meant he has got zero out of 6 for spellings which upsets him, he did again this week even after I wrote his teacher a note asking for the spellings.

I just want to go and get my boy now and take him away from his struggles but I know thats not the answer.

Headteacher romised me the special needs co-ordinator will spend time with him now and do a small test to check for dyslexia.

Wil keep you updated and thanks again x

foxinsocks Sat 07-Nov-09 14:17:02

sounds like the headteacher's a good un Julez. Hope your boy gets some help now!

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