hello my son is supposed to be taking his 11+ test for grammer school tomorrow and he really does not want to do it,he dosent want to attend grammer he wants to go to a closer school which is very good but i think if he can get in to grammer he should.
what does everyone else think
should i make him sit the test or just send him to the school where he wants to go?
Too late for long reply... sitting test for the grammar school keeps all options open, but if the other school is good and he's really thought through why he wants to go there, then forcing him to sit the exam might not be productive.
I identify with this totally and don't envy you at all. This happened to us last year. DS1 did brilliantly in the 11+ pre-test and then decided he didn't want to go to Grammar School.
We got him to write a list of pros and cons for each. He was really mature about it. The comment he made that swung it was when he said, "x (his cousin) went there (to the local comp), did well and liked it". We definitely couldn't argue with that.
The local comp is really good so there didn't seem to be a pressing reason why he needed a grammar education.
He started the comp 3 weeks ago and is loving it. He's just been put in the top set for maths but is fine about it, I worried that he might 'stick out' for being bright but so far so good.
He is sporty which may help and definitely not geeky.
DS2 is totally different and I can just see him at a grammar.
It depends so much on the individual. I don't think age 11 makes them too young to make a decision about schooling. However, if the local comp had been underperforming he would definitely have gone to the grammar!
Pretty much agree with Grimma's post.
I'd add: local school, if v. local - could you apply to grammar and if he really doesn't like grammar, go on waiting list for local school after allocations/year 1? Do places come up in your area after allocations/year 1?
Also, children may want to go to a school with their friends and then not be friends with them after the first year at secondary. They can then really go off the school, which might well leave you feeling frustrated. Especially if he starts moaning about being bored. And he's a bit young for you to turn around and say "Well, you chose it."
But I do think if it's actually forcing him to do something he really doesn't want to do, it would indeed be counter-productive.
Thanks for reply
i think he would be happier at the other school,but will see how he feels in the morning.
thanks for reply
your son sounds just like mine he is very bright exceptional his teacher calls him and very sporty, that is the biggest thing stopping him wanting to go to grammer they dont do football,
but the other school is a maths specialist college which is his best subject and he would get on very well there my other son has been at that school for last 5 years and is doing A levels there.
just an update
this morning he really didnt want to go and take the 11+ so after a few words we decided not to make him and stick to the local school.
thanks again for your replys
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