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DT1 is sad because he has no friends

(3 Posts)
potplant Thu 10-Sep-09 21:55:08

My DT1 has just started in Year 1. At the end of reception his teacher described him as a loner - he's OK if someone asks him to play but is wary of joining a bigger group if they are already playing together.

Today at bedtime I asked him if he was enjoying school and he said that it made him sad because no-one wants to play with him and he doesn't have any friends. He said he asked his two best friends if he could join in and they said no.

These two friends also said that they aren't going to come to his birthday party either (no RSVP either way from parents btw). He was so excited about his party and now he doesn't want a party at all.

DT2 OTOH is the life and soul, always running off to play with little gangs. DT1 says that he couldn't find DT2 to play with so he had to play on his own. sad

How can I help him to make friends? I know he has to find his own way in the world.

Please help me to put this into perspective because I'm actually more upset than he seems to be!

thisisyesterday Thu 10-Sep-09 22:52:18

oh potplant he sounds just like my ds1!

mine is only 4.5 and due to start school tomorrow but all through nursery i've had the same thing

"no-one wants to be my friend"

"other children don't let me play"

and it breaks my heart! in fact, when i speak to nursery about it they said that lots of the other children really, really like ds1. but ;ike your son he does tend to play by himself a lot, and he hates big groups of children. if he is pklaying with someone and more people join in he will leave the group.

i think part of the problem is that he wants/needs to be welcomed into a group, and when that doesn't happen he takes that as them saying they don't want him there. whereas i am sure, fi he was a little more assertive, they'd be glad for him to join in

it's really tough, his nursery said that it's just his nature, and not something "wrong" with him, but it's still sad when they get upset isn't it?

will watch this in case anyone else has any good tactics for dealing with it

potplant Thu 10-Sep-09 23:21:00

Wants/needs to be welomed - that is exactly what his teacher said.

Its the first time he has said anything like this - at nursery and in reception he always had his twin to play with - so it took me by surprise. Now in Yr1 they are split up a bit more so he can't rely on him. Also his 2 friends saying that they aren't coming to his party has upset him as well.

I thought it was suppposed to get easier...

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