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Truets mother now says school should do more

(10 Posts)
happymerryberries Fri 27-May-05 16:24:13

Earlier we had the mother who blamed the school when her 3 daughters were pg under age. Now a persistant truant's mother is saying that the school should do more. This is from the BBC website

'A Somerset mother who was prosecuted over her twin sons' truancy, has set up a help group for parents who struggle to get their children to school.
Maria Lehman claims it is impossible to control 14-year-olds, Lee and Sam, who kept skipping Wadham School, Crewkerne.

South Somerset magistrates ordered her to pay £560 and lifted reporting restrictions as a warning to others.

The single mother says the courts are blaming the wrong people and schools should take more responsibility.


"Unfortunately, due to the boys' unwillingness to cooperate, there's nothing I can do," she said.

"When the boys are taken to school and go out the back door, isn't it the school's responsibility to make sure they come back?

"Apart from me being there and dragging them back to school, there's nothing I can do."

If she cannot get the boys to co-operate, how can the school? What does she expect the school to do if they leg it. We cannot lay a hand on them. What exactly does she expect the school to do????

She can drag them back into school. We cannot!

Hulababy Fri 27-May-05 16:26:26

Another example really where parent's forgetting that children are actually THEIR responsibility, no one elses.

As you say, school can only do so much. And if school tried to log them all in or physically stop a child from leaving/bring them back - no doubt they'd be out thre complaining about that.

starlover Fri 27-May-05 17:00:36

what? so she wants the teaschers to run after him and force him back? that's ridiculous.

ffs, when will people learn that if they have kids they have to be responsible for them? why is everything ALWAYS someone else's fault.

happymerryberries Fri 27-May-05 17:08:03

In all honesty what is she expecting the school to do? I'm at a loss to know.

I have managed to stop children from running away, once by blocking a door, and once by shoutingvery loudly. But is the kids persists and legs it we cannot put a hand on them,!

SoupDragon Fri 27-May-05 17:14:19

I'm interested in what you think the mother can do. She apparently takes them to school and leaves them in the school's care. If they do not stay there and she does not know where they are, how can she drag them back?

I don't know what she expects the school to do but, then again, I don't know what the school expects her to do if she physically takes them there. At 14, it must be difficult to discipline a chld if they are determined not to do something and she has no other support from the father. The fact that they are twins and therefore a team must make it even more difficult.

What can you do with persistant truants from both a parental or school point of view

Hulababy Fri 27-May-05 17:18:12

TBH Soupdragon - at 14 I suspect she has left it rather late, but I think she just has to keep bringing him back. Even if she has to take some holiday from work to be persistant in doing it.

Needs to start much younger to start with.

assumedname Fri 27-May-05 17:19:21

I think it must be very difficult to do something about it once it's reached this point.

Surely we all need to reinforce the idea that school is a good thing for them, when the kids are much, much younger.

happymerryberries Fri 27-May-05 17:19:32

To be honest with you soupie, I.m not sure.. I wonder if she has dicipline probelms in general with them, and if she does, this could be approached by a more general behaviour managment program. Grounding them etc. It will be very hard for her, but she still has more practical control over them than the school does.

You have to wonder at their relationship if they are prepared to cost her so much in fines. If I were their mother I'd make them pay some of that fine themselves, and make them work off the rest with extra chores in leu of payment. Then they might begin to realise that actions have consequences.

I'm fervently hoping that each battle that I have with mine now (5 and 8) might mean a few less later on!

SoupDragon Fri 27-May-05 17:30:15

I'm just thinking how dificult is is toget DSs (6 & 4) to do things sometimes and they're still young enough to be bribed with chocolate.

How do you keep returning a child who does not come home though? If they are stupid enough to leave school and go home/to the same place each time then yes, you can keep taking them back. Maybe schools should be given more power to restrain truanting children...? I don't know - tricky.

The mother is in a tough situation having to deal with this twice over with no partner. Not sure these parents should be fined as such although they could put the fined towards teaching the parents how to deal with their children.

happymerryberries Fri 27-May-05 17:37:33

The probelm is that schools have no power and the kids know it.

I once had to take a girl to sit with the duty HOY. She got half way there and then simply refused to move. I got the DHOY to come to where we were standing, by sending another child to fetch her. DHOY had to stand there for over half an hour. The girl only moved as it started to rain!

Often kids like these have had minor problems in the past and parents will often refuse to allow the school to sanction them., As the kids get older the situation gets worse and worse until the parent throws their hands in the air and says 'I can't do anything with them'

Early intervention has to be the key. But we mow have an 18 month waiting list for psychiatric support for ebd kids

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