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URGENT advice pls - son starts school on Tues and I don't know where to send him!

(103 Posts)
imogengladheart Thu 13-Aug-09 23:52:36

Message withdrawn

Quattrocento Thu 13-Aug-09 23:56:47

<friendly nudge>

I know what you meant but people might take the references to rough kids badly.

FWIW I'd change schools,

kormachameleon Thu 13-Aug-09 23:58:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Linnet Thu 13-Aug-09 23:58:29

I take it he has a place at both schools?

Clary Thu 13-Aug-09 23:59:32

Oh don't cry. It can be so hard.

I have to say that on your presentation here the school you have been attending sounds a not-nice place for your son at least.

If the HT really said that then it's appalling. If there is no support for your son's problems then I woudl certainly go elsewhere.

The other school sounds much nicer. If the worst that can be said for it is that other kids don't have books read to them...well that's sad, but it doesn't need to impact on yr son, does it? And anyway it might not be the case.

Do you have a place in both schools? I assume it is in Scotland that you are back at school in the middle of the holidays grin. I don't know how the system works there.

Linnet Fri 14-Aug-09 00:00:07

Ggrr hit button to soon.

I'd go for the friendlier school if it was me.

Did you not need to let each school know whether or not he would be attending next week?

bluejeans Fri 14-Aug-09 00:00:59

Hi sorry you sound really stressed. I would go for the school near you as it sounds nicer, don't worry about the other parents you will meet others whose kids weren't in in the nursery class for a variety of reasons, also things will probably improve, a lot of play parks around us seem to be getting done up etc. What does your DS want to do, and what about other memebers of your family/close friedns etc?

Northernlurker Fri 14-Aug-09 00:03:18

Imogen - how do you know the kids in your village don't have books read to them?

THe school in M sounds dire - you don't like the teachers or the parents. Why on earth would you want to spend the next 6 years there?? hmm

Go for your local school and you may be pleasantly surprised - or it will be a disaster and you can look again at everything in the area. Just don't go for a school you know you're not happy with already - that's just beating yourself with a stick.

And I hope you kept the recipts for the duplicate uniform!!

TotalChaos Fri 14-Aug-09 00:04:15

go for local school. seeing as "nice" village school doesn't seem to have suited your ds at all, and doesn't even sound to be all that academically anyway.

imogengladheart Fri 14-Aug-09 00:04:22

Message withdrawn

Sazisi Fri 14-Aug-09 00:04:29

Personally I have always sent my kids to the nearest school.
At the moment, this means it's an inner city (Dublin) state school. A lot of the kids have very troubled backgrounds, parents with drug/alcohol/mental health issues etc. The school is wonderful, treats all children equally. My DD1 (who has always had a bedtime story) has excelled there. She has also seen first hand that a lot of kids aren't as lucky as she is.

If you go further afield, you are denying your child the opportunity to be part of the community you live in; when we go to the local shop or park, DD1 bumps into kids she knows from school. When she goes to visit a friend after school, she's only around the corner (her 3 best mates live 2, 5, and 10 minutes walk away)

puffling Fri 14-Aug-09 00:12:21

Definitely your local school.

pointydog Fri 14-Aug-09 00:13:08

You've had all summer to decide. Don't you know any of you r neighbours? You seem to have a complete downer on everyon ewho lives in your village.

Clary Fri 14-Aug-09 00:13:50

ARE you in Scotland then? Cause you certainly couldn't hold two places open in England. Sadly no-one has a right to a place at any school here.

But that's another issue.

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper Fri 14-Aug-09 00:14:16

I think everything you say answers your question - it sounds as if the only advantage to the other school is the nearby parks - which I'm sure you can visit at weekends.

A school which welcomes your child and sees the best in him, and is pleased you're both there, has to be better all round than a place where they've told you to your face they couldn't care less about you or your son.

And the chippie parents might treat you as the lost sheep come back to the fold - you made a misguided choice but now you've seen sense.
Or they might not, but let that be their loss and enjoy seeing your DS thrive - which he clearly hasn't under the posh school's regime.

Clary Fri 14-Aug-09 00:14:39

I meant you have a right to a place at a school just not automatically any particular school...

<ties self in verbal knots>

EldonAve Fri 14-Aug-09 00:20:26

go local

imogengladheart Fri 14-Aug-09 00:22:36

Message withdrawn

Clary Fri 14-Aug-09 00:25:27

Also agree with sazisi about advantages of local school.

Mine love to run into random kids they know at the local park.

In fact DS1 who is now 10 met 3-4 of his best mates the other week and ended up walking home with them (and not us).

Imposs if he went to school five miles away!

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper Fri 14-Aug-09 00:28:37

You've got it.

hatesponge Fri 14-Aug-09 00:36:56

go to the local school

I had a similar dilemma, to choose between the school at the end of our road (all kids from the rough estate, lots of free school meals, v high percentage of children with SN, poor ofsted etc) where my DS went to - and loved - nursery, and the school 20 minutes walk away rated as ofsted outstanding.

I picked the outstanding school. However, 7 years on I'm not sure it was the right choice. Unlike your school, the children at the 'good' school were friendly to my DS; he has some great friends there and has had lots of fun (he has just finished Year 6)

However the school didnt like me as a working, unmarried parent (I was once told by the Head she didnt think both parents should work full time, hence the school refused to provide any before/after school clubs).

Also, DS is very bright, but the school were only interested in getting to their SAT level - DS should have been well beyond the level for his age, but was never given the extra work I repeatedly asked for; in 7 years he never needed to spend more than 15 minutes a week on homework, he found it that simple.

The other school wasn't on paper as good. But I think they were more geared to treating children as individuals, so from an academic perspective I think DS would possibly have done better there. In social terms however I would hope he would have had the same number of friends he does now.

It's the social aspect of the schools that would concern me in your case,I wouldnt want my DC to go to a school if I felt they wouldn't fit in. And I think from my experience, the 'good' school isnt necessarily the best option.

hayes Fri 14-Aug-09 01:04:41

Have you been told you have a place at either school? I know in Scotland you need to put in a placing request and if that is granted you need to enrol your child at the school. If not you would need to enrol in the local school. I work in a school and our placing requests etc where sorted out around Easter time so we know how many children are coming into P1. I know our Council would not allow a child to take up 2 places whilst the parents make up their mind.

My advice would be to put your child to the local school. And try not to worry too much smile your ds will get on just fine.

TheDailyMailHatesWomenAndLemon Fri 14-Aug-09 01:17:35

Local school.

DollyPS Fri 14-Aug-09 01:29:22

You cant have two places in Scotland either so what is it. If you have been into the local one they will think you are going there then. So your place for the posh one will have went to someone else.

I would be reporting the Head from the posh school though as she is ment to be there to help the kids and parents not put them off.

By the way your friend calling you stuck up and a cow wasnt really your friend at all as it wouldnt matter where you sent your child to nursery or school. Friends want whats best for their friends not to snipe and bitch.

I still wouldnt of left it this long to make up your mind though as that is plain daft.

sunnydelight Fri 14-Aug-09 02:59:38

Why would you even consider sending your son to the school where he/you have not been welcomed and the head is such a cow? Definitely the local school.

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