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Will I seem like a pushy parent if I send this to DS1's new school??

(65 Posts)
sylar Mon 27-Jul-09 15:42:53

DS1 's nursery have handed me his transfer report to send through to his new school for September since they "don't have the address" (or it seems the ability to look it up in the phone book/on the internet hmm).

Its is fine but contains all the usual "DS1 can recognise numbers 1 to 20 and understands past present and future" etc. Its clearly all worked through from a checklist rather than particularly useful information about DS1.

Will I seem like a nightmare pushy parent if I send it with a brief covering letter saying "here is the report from nursery. It might also be usfeul to know that DS1 will struggle to put on his own socks, may occasionally fall asleep late afternoon, can't yet swim (but thinks he can) and can read at book band x etc"

The query is mainly about the reading information. On the one hand I don't want the teacher to think I'm a pushy mum and I know there is some stigma about teaching children to read before they start school, but at the same time it seems silly to send him in without her knowing that he can read and have to work it out for herself. Its a selective school and so I would imagine a few of the children will have started reading.

What do you think?

LIZS Mon 27-Jul-09 15:44:46

Just offer it on the first day at pick up. they will rotuinely do their own assessments over the first few weeks to work out where the kids are at .

Smithagain Mon 27-Jul-09 18:47:35

I reckon if you send it with a covering note saying "here is the report my son's nursery asked me to send you", that will be fine.

But I wouldn't add anything about his reading level etc. They will figure that out soon enough and it will seem a bit pushy if you are highlighting it before you even start.

(And thank you for reminding me that I've completely forgotten to include DD2's similar report with the wodge of stuff I sent to school last week!)

thegrammerpolice Mon 27-Jul-09 21:12:23

I haven't been given anything to give to my dd's new school....should I have been??
We got an end of year report and it was similar to your ds's Sylar - very limited compared to what he can actually do so not really that reflective of where he's at.

I can understand the temptation to write the note about his reading but I'm not sure as, as others say, I guess they'll want to assess where he's at themselves. Maybe casually slip it into conversation instead (when no other mums are around grin?!?

saintlydamemrsturnip Mon 27-Jul-09 21:14:17

Send it in. It's standard to have a transfer report. I had to sign ds3's (within the same school) and had to hand in ds2's (when he changed from a different nursery for reception). It won't be pushy at all. Honestly completely standard/normal- it will be helpful for the teacher.

RealityIsHavingBumsex Mon 27-Jul-09 21:17:24

Message withdrawn

teamcullen Mon 27-Jul-09 21:25:39

If it makes you feel beter, send it in. They will probably start your DS from scrach with the reading anyway though.

thegrammerpolice Mon 27-Jul-09 21:31:45

Really team? So they'll have to go through all the letter sounds again? Gosh.

I am planning on casually mentioning the fact ds can read etc. when the teacher does the home visit. I wonder whether he will be a little shy at first and might not show her what he can do in an assessment so I think it's important that she knows that this might be the case.

sylar Tue 28-Jul-09 08:26:45

Really can't decide. I'm just a bit concerned that eeryone will be wanting to talk to the teacher during the first week and so I might not get the chance. We don't get a home visit (at least not that I know of)

It doesn't really matter I suppose. They will soon work it out since he's obsessed with reading everything he sees written on walls or signs at the moment. He's onto the blue book band (ORT 4/5) and so is past all the jolly phonics type stuff.

Its an independent school Reality.

I'll be annoyed if they hold him back and make him start again though teamcullen. Do you think they will? What's the point of that? Once you can read you can read

teamcullen Tue 28-Jul-09 08:36:07

My dd was in a simalar situation when she started. She was writing by the time she went to nursery (only just 3) and could read lots of words. But she had to go through the phonics programme with her peers.

To be honest, she didnt complain, its all done in a very fun way. She was placed on a high ability table though so all the kids on that table were able to taught at a more chalenging level.

Your teacher will pick up pretty quickly how bright your ds is but its worth mentioning how well he is doing. I sent a book in with my dd in the second week of school and told the teacher that she had enjoyed reading it and the teacher let her read it to the class at the end of the day.

Its worth remembering as well that the children are still working at foundation stage in reception and dont go on to key stage 1 untill year 1. That is just to say empathis is still on building confidence, language skills, fine motor skills etc.

We have a foundation unit at our school now where all the nursery and reception children are all together. I didnt see how this would work when my ds started (the first year it was introduced) but its actually a really stimulating learning enviroment. The children are learning much more through play than sitting at tables. Sorry im rambling now.

Dont worry your ds wont be disadvantaged having to go back to the beginning. If anything it will give him a big confidence boost and he will settle into school quickly. The books will be boring when he first gets them but just say to him we will read these words for the teacher and then we can read something much more fun. good luck

ScummyMummy Tue 28-Jul-09 08:36:35

If it's a selective school they will probably expect you to be pushy, if by pushy you mean interested in academic progress, so I'd send it if you think it will be helpful.

sweetfall Tue 28-Jul-09 08:38:20

the best thing you can do is teach him to put on his own socks, shoes, coat, jumper over the summer assuming he can already toilet himself and wash his hands.

the rest the teachers will work out

alibubbles Tue 28-Jul-09 08:39:48

I taught one of my minded children to read before he went to school. Mum sent in the reading record that I had kept ( big brother had one, so he wanted one too) He was on level 5 to, school were brilliant and continued where I had left off. ( this was a state school too)

Both my two DC's could also read before they went to school, independent pre prep, it wasn't a problem. I didn't tell them about DS, but they soon found out because his sister is only a year older and the teacher had taught her and I think he was expected to be able to read!!

usernametaken Tue 28-Jul-09 09:53:40

The school will do all sorts of assessment when your DS starts (esp seeing as it is a selective private) so will see for themselves as to where he is. I wouldn't mention anything yet to his school, but pass on the Nursery assessment.
We did mention to DD's (age 4.4yrs) school that she could read, write and do maths, but we got labelled the 'rose tinted glasses' parents. It was only after they did a reading/spelling assessment and listened to her reading Dick King Smith with expression and understanding did they believe us.
As it happens, DD loves all the Jolly Phonics and the activities connected with 'letter of the week' and is looking forward to more JP in Reception.

LIZS Tue 28-Jul-09 10:27:15

We were never asked for, nor provided, any such information to dd's independent school (we moved from abroad) when she started in Reception. Most of the kids had progressed from the nursery so they knew where they stood and very quickly assessed the few newcomers. She was far from alone in beign able to read but we had no books snet home until half term to allow them to settle and learn to cope with the length of day, new faces, environment etc. Chances are you will have an informal opportunity to meet the teacher in the first week or so at which you can make your points and offer the information.

Toptip Tue 28-Jul-09 18:42:59

DD was at the same point with reading before entering reception. I didn't mention it to the teacher but when the 1st book came home, I wrote "dd is reading Stage 5 ORT with me" and they moved her up the next day. In a selective independent school I would think most dcs will have started reading already. If your dc was going into a state school, that's when you would have to fear being made to feel pushy/ starting at the beginning stages again.

The Phonics work they do will greatly help with spelling, even if your dc can decode already.

Good luck!

OtterInaSkoda Wed 29-Jul-09 12:25:47

I think some teachers used to prefer it if parents didn't teach their children to read before starting school, but that was back in the 70s. I shouldn't be concerned about fessing up, but I would be very worried if they disapproved.

Reality - I was wondering the same. What do they select on?

mrz Wed 29-Jul-09 13:13:26

Schools like (and are legally required) to ask parents for information about their child's abilities for assessment using EYFSP.
I would casually mention that you are reading at home. As a teacher it would be helpful for me to know when I'm planning.

mrz Wed 29-Jul-09 13:16:19

thegrammarpolice how many sounds does your child know?

cat64 Wed 29-Jul-09 13:55:27

Message withdrawn

TitsalinaBumsquash Wed 29-Jul-09 13:59:50

Oh god is DS ment to be reading by the time he starts school? He can recognse letters in his nae but thats all! <worry>

mrz Wed 29-Jul-09 14:08:46

Most children can't read when they start school and aren't expected to be reading. I'm happy if they can go to the loo themselves and put on their own coat.

cat64 Wed 29-Jul-09 14:08:46

Message withdrawn

trickerg Wed 29-Jul-09 15:05:12

Cat64 - someone I knew a few years ago had 2 children in private school and her 3rd child 'failed' the interview for the private school at the grand old age of 5, so she had to suffer the disgrace of local state school for a year. Fortunately hmm she managed to 'pass' the following year, although in the meantime they'd been able to afford a family holiday abroad for the first time ever!

From what I remember, the selection for this school was primarily on the child's ability to answer questions orally, although I would imagine they'd take other things into account too!

Toptip - I'm obviously not worthy to lick your very shiny boots... it sounds like you think state schools are chock-full of thickos! Come the revolution.....

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 29-Jul-09 15:08:04

I think it is irrelevant that he thinks he can swim. They don't go to the pool in Reception.

I would help him put his socks on and make sure he can sort himself out in the loo etc as the teachers won't do that.

Are you a pushy mum?

Just hand it in when you see the teacher, no need for a cover note imo.

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