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Moving schools and settling in - any tips ?

(8 Posts)
whereeverIlaymyhat Thu 02-Jul-09 13:27:39

Our DC's are starting at a new private school in September and therefore less children so more important that we get things spot on as they'll be in the school until they are 18.
Last time we moved schools basically our eldest missed reception, straight into year 1 and the other started in reception.
But it was almost as if we were never forgiven or allowed "in" because she'd missed those first 18 months.

DC1 can be too loud and likes to run around a lot and I know the girls don't really "get" her, so am trying very hard with her to talk about appropriate behavior. She'll swipe at her sisters if they are arguing, not other kids but obviously other kids see her clobbering her sisters and don't like it.
DC2 is bullied to within an inch of her life right now with a horrid girl in her class she won't stand up to and that's one of the main reasons we're moving. She has 0 confidence. She's a dear little soul who wouldn't say boo to a goose but when 3 out 20 kids came to her party last week she absolutely crumbled, it was heart breaking.
DC3 is oblivious to everything and just plays with anyone and everyone and the least of my worries apart from forgetting about the poor child.

So I plan to do all the play dates etc but thought I'd sit back and get the measure of things first, frankly i'm more nervous than them though.
I wish I knew what to do to make sure this time it's a success and they make friends with the nice children.

slummymomma Thu 02-Jul-09 14:28:58

DS1 is moving schools in September as well - first time we've done a move so don't have any specific recommendations.

But wanted to say how awful for your DD2. That's appalling that only 3 out of the class turned up for the party - what were the parents thinking of? sad

marialuisa Thu 02-Jul-09 14:48:40

DD(8) moved at the start of term. Not sure what advice to give, except to size up the friendliest looking mum and introduce yourself? I don't do school gates any more and DD seems to have settled fine .

Her old school was small and new kids/ mums were always welcomed with open arms.

whereeverIlaymyhat Thu 02-Jul-09 14:55:05

Thank you, they seem a friendly if not hurried bunch but tbh that suits me the current lot seem to have far too much time to stand around bitchy about each other
slummy - the only thing I can think of is that another child had a birthday around the same time so maybe that accounts for her not coming and one child was with his dad and he forgot apparently which frankly I find hard to believe because if that had been me i'd have been at the gates with the card and present on Monday morning because that would have already been bought wouldn't it hmm
The rest are just ignorant IMO. Hence why I really want this to go well and am desperate but not wanting to come across desperate lol

risingstar Thu 02-Jul-09 14:59:33

I think a multi-pronged approach.

First tell the teachers about your concerns about bullying etc. they will want your kids to stay. ask them if they can introduce them to likely friends, make sure they have a buddy etc.

Secondly, charm offensive with other parents. Maybe with DC2, invite one or two likely looking children round to play or to the pictures( always think this is a good one with a shy child).

How old is DC1? Is she of an age where she understands that her behaviour alienates her? Is she bothered? Is she just as happy playing on her own? Some kids just aren't joiners!

whereeverIlaymyhat Thu 02-Jul-09 15:15:36

Thank you I will bring that up with the teacher she seemed very nice.
DC1 is more than happy with her own company, I think she would like a friend or two but if she never had one she wouldn't care. I don't even mind if nobody wants to be her best friend she has them outside of school, it's the pointing and calling her weird that hurts me and embarrasses the other 2 blush so she needs to rein it in but it's balancing that against telling her to relax and just be herself

whereeverIlaymyhat Thu 02-Jul-09 22:00:06

Can I bump this in case anyone else has wise words ?
Thank you

LadyMuck Sun 05-Jul-09 22:28:48

Have your children had their trial/settling days at the new school yet?

Each class should have one or more parents reps, who may or may not be useful. When ds2 moved school at Easter the rep organised some class get togethers at the park for everyone and we were invited along to meet people. Class lists are also useful - you can check who lives close, and it gives you a chance to work out parent and children names.

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