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Have to wait another one year for my ds to go for reception.Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(26 Posts)
sl003 Thu 25-Jun-09 21:40:19


my ds is 3.5 years old.she is in the nursery now(started this January) and she is doing very well there.her teacher told me that she is doing more than enough for her age. but the sad point is she have to start her reception class in next September.she have to stay in the nursery for another one year.Any one have any idea or experience about this?Are there any options?

ChasingSquirrels Thu 25-Jun-09 21:42:05

well, she isn't old enough for reception is she - did you think she was?

Personally I can't understand why people are so keen for their very young children to go to school (and I have a very bright Sep born child), but each to their own.

They do bugger all in reception anyway.

lou031205 Thu 25-Jun-09 21:43:07

Hi, I'm not sure what the problem is? If she is 3.5, then she will start school in September 2010, as will all children of her age.

lou031205 Thu 25-Jun-09 21:43:28


emalushka Thu 25-Jun-09 21:47:10

Aargh! Come and spend the day in my class and then say that. I dare you.

Buda Thu 25-Jun-09 21:47:24

Don't rush her. She will be in school for long enough. Let her enjoy nursery.

PortAndLemon Thu 25-Jun-09 21:47:58

What's the problem? Doing "more than enough for her age" isn't a reason to start school early. Is she enjoying nursery? If so why is it so sad that she'll be staying there for another year? My DS is 4.5 and starting Reception this September and if anything I'm sad about his leaving nursery. He's been very happy there, made lots of good friends and had a huge amount of fun.

dilemma456 Thu 25-Jun-09 21:48:58

Message withdrawn

Katymac Thu 25-Jun-09 21:56:23

Can I point out that the curriculum for reception & nursery (well from birth actually) is identical by law

If her current nursery isn't meeting her needs either it is a poor nursery or reception wouldn't either

weegiemum Thu 25-Jun-09 21:57:54

As we are in Scotland my 2 oldest children (dd1 and ds) didn't have to, and therefore didn't, start school until they were 5years 6 months old. Dd2 started at 4 years 9 months and I thought she was really young.

We rush kids into school too early in this country I think. Mine (they are all very bright, in top groups, reading well, at a bilingual school and flourishing) have not suffered in teh slightest from being at home/nursery a bit longer. its pretty common here anyway - you can't start school until you are 4 and a half in Scotland, and many many parents now keep kids until they are well over 5.

Don't rush it. they are in school long enough. Enjoy the time when they can be at home.

MamaMuesli Thu 25-Jun-09 22:03:18

My dd was in the same position, she would have coped fine with reception, but I was happy for her to have another year at nursery - we made the most of it with tons of extras like gymnastics, swimming lessons, soccer tots which she had more than enough energy for on top of nursery 3 days a week and really enjoyed. And slow time with at home is really enjoyable at this age too. I understand your question, but just look at the positives.

ChasingSquirrels Fri 26-Jun-09 00:30:51

sorry emalushka - I will qualify that point - my child appeared to do bugger all in reception, and in alot of ways his learning stalled because he didn't have the one-on-one periods of time that he had before (partly with me, but mainly with my mum - a retired reception teacher).
The only thing I think he gained from that year was being with his peers, and he had been getting that at pre-school for 2.5hrs per day. The only gain in this respect from being in reception was that if he hadn't have been he wouldn't have got it anywhere at that point as his peers were all in reception. But he didn't need 6 hours a day of it - a point he himself made a number of times during the year.

Yet now, in yr 1 and under a more formal learning structure, and working with the yr 2's, he is really thriving.

I am of course making gross generalisations from a very specific situation. Sorry.

thirtypence Fri 26-Jun-09 00:42:15

Enjoy having another year before she starts school. She is still tiny, tiny, tiny.

Repeat after me - my child is not Mozart.

myredcardigan Fri 26-Jun-09 00:53:27

I'm confused! Surely she has another year to wait because she doesn't reach Reception age for another year?
What 'help' are you looking for?

Clary Fri 26-Jun-09 01:10:28

Why do you want her to start full-time school at 3?

And there are always threads from people whose DC have to start at just 4 (ie August born) and saying it's too young (which I agree it often is)

Gosh there's no pleasing folk is there? hmm

Lusi Fri 26-Jun-09 01:39:41

Don't rush to get your child to school...lower childcare costs/more time for you may seem like a good idea...but once at school childcare/holidays are a nightmare, holidays are more expensive - have to be taken at certain time..etc, etc.

Weegiemum ...
I'm in Scotland too and my DDs are both 'on the cusp' - born in Febuary.
DD1 started school at 4 - she has struggled a bit emotionally but she could read really well so it was a difficult decision. (Now in P4 she is the top if her class in reading/language - not so good at maths though smile).
I will say the way it works in Scotland has made it worse for her - most of the children in her class have April birthdays or have stayed on at nursery an extra year (so they are around or more than a year older) Most other Dec/Jan/Feb children are in the year below - quite a few children in P3 are older than she is.

DD2 is about to start playgroup a couple of days a week - her favouite friends will be there - but I am also trying to make sure she keeps going to groups with the slightly younger she won't lose all her friends if I decided to keep her back for a year. Her place at playgroup won't be funded until next Easter...
I think the system in England (where there is less possible age spread in a class) is actually better - at least you don't have to make such a big decision...

bruffin Fri 26-Jun-09 08:29:46

I know where your coming from
both my Dcs are September babies. My DD in particular was really desperate to start school for a good 9 months before hand and could have coped well both socially and academically.She is 11 now and thoroughly enjoys school and more than ready for secondary.
I get a bit annoyed at mnetters always going on that we start our children too early but we have a much gentler and gradual approach to starting school. Whereas friends in Germany have a child who was a few days younger than DD started nearly 2 years later and it was a very bad shock for him because he had gone from playing all day to a very formal setting.
Reception here is play based and about learning social skills

PortAndLemon Fri 26-Jun-09 09:06:37

Yes, bruffin, but so is nursery (play based and about learning social skills). As Katymac points out, the curriculum for Reception and nursery is identical by law.

And I think few people hold up the German system specifically as a model to follow. Home ed is illegal in Germany, for example. IIRC from talking to Scandinavian friends most Scandinavian countries manage to start "school" later and have a gradual transition via preschool provision.

NoTart Fri 26-Jun-09 09:26:23

OP, my child will start primary school at 6, as is the case in many countries. I don´t think it´s too late, she will continue to learn age-appropriate things at nursery. I know that when she does start school learning to read is normally a very fast process instead of the rather slower one for younger children.

There is NO advantage whatsoever is starting school at 3 or 4, why is it so important to you that she start school so young?!

Buda Fri 26-Jun-09 11:07:22

The other thing to consider when starting them so young is their maturity as they go into secondary etc. My DS is an August birthday and started at 4. He coped fine. However he is now just finished Year 3 and the gap between him and his friends who are almost a year older than him is apparent academically. Emotionally and maturity wise he is fine but we are still planning on holding him back a year - we will move back to UK at the end of Year 5 and he will repeat Year 5 in his UK school.

DS has a friend in his class who is extremely bright and his parents pushed for him to start early - he is a September birthday so started Reception at still 3. Academically he is fine and he coped well in Reception and Year 2. However he is aware he is the youngest in the year and is a lot more immature than some of the ones who are a year older. I wouldn't want that for my child in secondary where there is so much pressure to fit in and follow the herd etc. I think it will be easier to be one of the oldest instead of the youngest.

Builde Tue 30-Jun-09 10:15:04

I would suggest you enjoy all the time at home with your children before you lose them for 7 hours a day to compulsory schooling. (which is quite time consuming for parents!)

I didn't start school til after I was 5 and got a first class degree from Cambridge.

Starting school early doesn't advantage children at all.

Where we currently live, children start the Sept after they are 4. My oldest started just after her 4th birthday and has enjoyed it and has learned a lot. (They do quite a lot in reception including joined up writing and bar charts!) However, I still think that if she had gone later, she would just have learned it all quicker. Children learn despite school, nursery, poor teaching; they are programmed to learn!

missmem Tue 30-Jun-09 11:43:27

My kids are very bright and I wished them into school early. Now I wish I'd had them one more year at home - childhood is too short, enjoy it while it's here.

carocaro Thu 02-Jul-09 17:27:31

Whoa their Nelly!

It's just one persons opinion remember.

If she did go now, she may get totally lost and behind the other children in her class, be the baby of the group etc etc.

Plus there is no way on earth you could get her in, the law is the law.

Let her grow up and be ready for goodness sake and take that PUSHY MOTHER STICKER off, she will thank you for it!

eandh Thu 02-Jul-09 19:02:54

my dd starts reception on her 5th birthday as she was born 7th September, have to say after her taster days there this week she is mroe than ready and told me the second day that she didnt need me to come into the classroom with her.

This time last year I was desperate for her to start reception in January (most of her friends from preschool went last sept/january) however I do think her being an older child in her year will be very advantagous for her (last year she would have been unsettled, nervous, worried etc and I cannot believe the difference in her especially the last few months)

Let her start when her peers do, as everyone says reception is an extension of preschool/nursery learning through play (although dd1 is desperate to learn to read but thats just her!!)

TEJQ Sat 04-Jul-09 22:17:39

In Scandinavian countries kids don't start formal education until around age seven compared to the UK's four+. All pre-school learning is focussed on play, investigation, nature and developing a love of learning for its own sake. By age 11 most Scandinavian kids are outperforming their UK counterparts in academic studies, despite starting two years later, esp boys who in the UK we stick in school and at a desk WAY to early, when they really would have been much happier still charging around running their energy off, and invetsigating the world around them.

Statistically in education terms autumn born girls achieve best, and summer born boys achieve least well (yes, I know there are exceptions to the rule, genetics and environment plays a part too; we're talking in general statistical terms)

8/9 years ago I had to fight tooth and nail right up to David Blunket to get my 26/8 born DS3 DECELERATED a year because I didn't want him in school at barely 4. I managed it and he is just finishing primary this month. He will be lucky tyo achieve 4b's in his SAT's; he is an immature child, and only averagely bright, had he gone into the year he should have chronologically, I think the education system would have set him up to fail before he'd even got started; he wouldn't have managed to hold his own and wouldn't have fitted socially with his peers by junior stage.

Your autumn born DD will probably find school a breeze and love it. DONT rush her please, play is pre-schoolers work, learning to love learning for its own sake is a life long skill worth having.

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