hi, i really need to vent some frustration re ds' nursery (state-run, london, around 45 kids). i live close to the nursery and have always said that if i am needed i am effectively 'on call' in the case of an emergency. today, when i went to collect him at hometime, there was an eerie silence and i was taken aside by one of the teachers.
apparently, ds was pushed backwards onto a concrete step at full force by another boy. ds had done nothing at all, he had just been standing there (ds never does anyway he is quite shy and gentle and has only started coming out of his shell given previous speech issues. they also admitted that it was a "really big push...really hard ...he fell straight down on his back" and that he was really really upset and that the only reason they were telling me was because he might be miserable when he got home.
i think they preempted this given that 'something' had clearly been upsetting him the previous day but he could not articulate quite what (so just talked about " people pushing" and "bit of a bump") and i had specifically asked if they knew anything. i now think it may have been part of the same problem.
i asked them who did it but they said that they would not tell me the name of the boy - i find this really frustrating as it is almost tantamount to 'punishing' the parent - they know that ds does not yet do the "today x did y' kind of ramble so i cannot otherwise know. i would have liked to talk to the boy's parent to try and understand more but of course in such a large class, it is honestly a stab in the dark as to who did it.
i guess i was wondering whether they are allowed to withhold this info given that they dont appear to have such a confidentiality policy set in stone
apparently, this boy has hurt other kids at the nursery before (though not so seriously apparently). i just feel that he could have cracked someone's head open and whether that is what it would take to suspend him (he is nearly 5 so older than ds. from their tone they sounded defensive of their policies and protective of the bully more so than sympathetic towards my ds. besides i know they like to sort things out themselves but they are completely aware from previous exchanges that i would have wanted to know sooner than that.
i just feel completely disillusioned and demoralised by their attitude and i am reluctant to leave ds in their care again even though there appears to be no way out given that he has already been allocated a place at their school for next year (to the exclusion of all other schools).
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ds being bullied at nursery - where do i stand??
17 replies
zebramummy · 25/06/2009 19:56
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